It's a merry-merry day.

Atheist ->
GOD does not exist. He lives within us. The existence of a divine being is simply the product of human imagination. After all, species learn to live by their worst fears - eg. encountering a predator, anticipation of environmental changes, taking a turn down the wrong alley - a survival instinct they keep within themselves. We learn to fight our worst fears by conjuring up other mythical beings to fight them. In our society now, the mythical being that counteracts religious truth is science. And science begs for reason, and understanding, above anything else.

If I'd never get to announce the following, nor make the speech, I suppose I could fantasise about it or post it in my blog?

(update 29/11 : I sent a crap email to the choir committee, and some disagreed. For me, I just don't see why! It ran on the same basis in Patricia's time, there was some form of order, why the hell does it have to be so damn lax now? Can't you all see that discipline is direly in demand? Especially since our group doesn't have a conductor to take charge? Continue this laissez-faire leading, and see where it gets you! You don't even consult my opinion on things, I don't see why the hell am I still around, seriously ...)


** BEGIN TRANSCRIPT*
The time is 7 pm.

Hey people, gather & listen up. I am going to deliver a short speech.

We can't give everyone complete freedom here - the same goes for singing. When people carry around the attitude that they just can't be bothered, it gets infectious. For example, turning up when you want to, without providing a good explanation.

During practices, pls switch your handphones to the silent mode, unless you're expecting a very important call, (the committee will listen to your reason and review whether it is valid).

Let me revise the ground rule here. When someone is standing in front and talking. Pls give him/her ur attention. Pls be CONSIDERATE & minimise talking when you are expected to do so.

Like I said last time around, discipline has been really lax. What I'm saying is, we are a TEAM - we have to be serious enough to sit back and review our progress. We can't have interruptions for our own selfish reasons - seeking attention. We have to respect the ground rules here, and balance work & play. If we have come so far and have achieved nothing, we're really failures.

From now on, pls do not take your friend standing next to you for granted. We're all here for a reason. We're here because we love to sing and make music together. Please love & respect each other, and the time they are willing to fork out each week to come here. I'm here to make sure that everyone enjoys and gets to benefit from our practices. (Choir needs a QA/QC team).

I shall now distribute a few copies of ground rules...

Let's have a brand new start this term, a few New Year resolutions. I hope choir can start pulling in guys who have the interest and vocal quality, and ensure our survival. I hope that everyone gets to benefit from practices; no last min cancelling of practices; practices with specific goals in mind (improve efficiency of practices).

I want everyone to think for Choir, what kinds of things they want to achieve.
Please be realistic. Set goals that we can achieve.

I shall not be around here for very long, so I'll do what I can when I'm still here...

Firstly, I shall do a simple survey. How many of you all still want to have physical warm-ups? We shall spend 5 mins on them prior to the start of every practice, as we did before... =)

*** end of transcript *

What the hell do I think about choir and music anyway?
I repeatedly question myself, why had I wanted to join choir anyway? Perhaps I've gotten too comfortable in it, from sec 1.

Singing unlocks the soul. Honestly, I don't give a damn whether the pitching is on or off. I just want to feel. In an acapella song, when u've never heard of it, the lyrics are all that you hear. And I suppose that fuzzy stuff involving harmonics or all, is what professionals are listening for. But to the audience/ commoner, when something has no heart in it, it's worthless. I suppose I just don't have that listening ear... It's so damn obvious to me when everytime I am asked to comment, I can't tell anything for sure. Like I can't even remember how everyone sang.

I think I'm starting to lose heart already. Humph. I can't begin to feel what all the others are feeling. Choir is not a good place for me to stay in. There's no bonding there. It's sad, it's unhealthy. It's time for me to go. Though I doubt I can belong anywhere, I shall keep on looking. Why didn't I join track & field? Don't 'ooh- ahh' and say what I don't want to hear. The thing is, I have a passion for training & over-exertion. It really gives me a high. If it's anything, I wish I could die early (due to overexhaustion) and get off the face of this cruel world. I can't take anymore of this shit.

I wish I had something/ someone to believe in. ?? believe in yourself? Let me be all that I can be, and live life to the fullest. I've never felt the need to express myself so crudely. Damn it. If you're uncomfortable, just get the hell out of my diary.

I will not make any empty promises to myself. I hope to become stronger; but until that day where I'd finally achieve something in life that I could be proud of, I will keep on running. That's what I'm looking for. Now, to be realistic... It's time to practise what I preach, and concentrate on my efforts. Goodbye blog.