The final blow

My cGPA rests at 2.78. I got a B for my Major Project.

wtf.

I am like half-way between totally worn out and disgusted at... myself...

You see me studying, doing my best each time around, at home or in school... Yet, so far, I find this ain't the career for me. I cannot go far with these academic results. I might as well die.

Just a figure of speech. I would die eventually (hopefully of natural causes). But where's the glory in dying now, eh?

I need to make an emergency U-turn; to get back in the game. tata peeps.


*** Previously unpublished session of self-doubt ***

Why was I in Biotechnology? For a combination of reasons:

Innate lust for Fame and Recognition, and ultimately, Power. ( - dared - I - think! - )

I realised this today. This is a typical human drive - what am I but an insignificant human in a population of million. And how do I stand out and make the world a better place? It turns out that the definition of a better place is subjective (the concept varies from person to person), and you'd always risk upset to others in making decisions. Nevertheless, to what end was I willing to pursue, to make a name myself in the world, rather than drift on as a number? And tra la~

In all ambition, I pooled my investment, pushed all my faculties to the overdrive, for the hope of success.

I thought that you could always brainwash yourself to succeed. Now I need brainwash in the opposite direction. Reverse determinism.

***

SOPHIE'S WORLD is an excellent book. I would call it avant-garde.

Thought: "Should I be an English Teacher? If yes, I have a long way to go..."

Poor use of punctuation marks and poor tenses really irk me. Although sometimes, I find that my understanding of English is not far above average, especially in the command of English Vocabulary. At least, I am used to perfecting my sentence structures in a concise manner.

relevance

In my hour of solitude.

I pondered, what became of my 3 years in polytechnic?
I pondered, of the future yet to come, my career progression.
For I'm trapped in this moment now, in which I can look forward or behind.

And it's time to think really hard:
Shall I crawl further in the fields of sciences?
Is it a gold mine, or a minefield I am heading into?

And it's time to reflect deeply:
Will I have the courage to continue, or the determination to succeed?
Could I perceive a future of satisfaction in my career?

I am but, a simple man.
And to address all these perplexing questions,
I thought of immediate solutions to silence them.

In my hour of solitude.

Memento mori

Memento mori (Wikipedia)

Vita brevis breviter in brevi finietur,
Life is short and shortly it will end

Mors venit velociter que neminem veretur,
Death comes quicker than you think

Omnia mors perimit et nulli miseretur.
It takes everything away, but takes pity on no one

Ad mortem festinamus peccare desistamus.
We hasten towards death, we shall restrain from sinning


Ni conversus fueris et sicut puer factus
If you don’t repent and become pure as a child

Et vitam mutaveris in meliores actus,
And if you don’t change your life by doing better,

Intrare non poteris regnum Dei beatus.
You cannot enter the Kingdom of God.

Ad mortem festinamus peccare desistamus.
We hasten towards death, we shall restrain from sinning

(The Catalan Llibre Vermell de Montserrat, 1939)

I agree with the first verse (first 4 lines).

TONY TAKITANI

Today, I've learnt for the umpteenth time that appearances can be deceiving. With references to people conjuring up all sorts of unconventional wild styles.. haiz. I refuse to elaborate on this senseless blabbering..

Now, I've watched a movie in school, TONY TAKITANI. Here's an English translation of the novel on the New Yorker.

The author, none other than the renown Haruki Murakami.

Directed by Jun Ichikawa. I recommend loners to watch it. Nope. I mean, the life prospects of Tony seem to increase, climax in the middle, and taper off towards the end. It's a bit melancholic in that sense. The turn of fortunes. etc

The Mister Brown Show needs no introduction to local netizens.

Airing comedy podcasts on daily news and political satire, it shows the imaginative Singaporean twist to local news stories. Funnily enough. I was recently impressed by the Anonymous Heroes clip. In which Mr Brown does a falsetto impression of Random Grl~~ from the League of Anonymous Media Policing Action Heroes.

It's more delightful than having a talk with the cab driver. Cab drivers vary in their personalities and willingness to talk.


Oh. Concerning the night on 19th February, MOS was ok. A typical disco in Clarke Quay opened just last year. Yes. There's some eyecandy for the flirting eyes. But it was quite disappointing. I had hoped for, I-don't-know, Jazzy themes? I can't stand the thick smoky air and I don't know our society's concept of dancing well enough. Everyone's too into Hip-Hop dancing. Bro dances well with his gf.