Sunday, July 12, 2009

Taking stock 120709

Disorder #1

Unnecessary Burdens - "Today's headlines takes precedence over yesterday's." This is the ideal world everyone wants to live in. For many times, I want to tell myself Today is a brand new day, but a lot of horrible stuff from yesterday just spills over today. It's a little annoying that I can't (1) just loosen up and let go of my burdens. (*) I hate the rigidity of my ideas. I have developed a complex relationship with material stuff. Yesterday's news in my closet, a storehouse for ideas I don't want to lose. But it can be a little stifling as it takes up space...


Disorder #2

Negativity - if it's not chemical, it's psychological. Got to get those neurons firing properly. Positive signals ONLY. If I hear a harmful thought - I'm gonna kill it. Denounce it, dethrone it, squash it like a pest.


Disorder #3

Anger - I must be at peace with myself and disallow my emotions to take control. The logical person reigns.


* * *


I have been pondering incessantly about my destiny, but it has not grown obsessive. I've been letting it go - be it the leisurely cycle, the personal 2.4 time trial, the resume-editing, and the thoughts over a job advert.

Well, I've applied for some jobs thus far. And I really gonna get one to prove to myself that I can. (Hmm. Maybe I should just tell myself I can.) Then I should make time for other things I want to do. No wait. There's the income factor. I can't ask for sponsorship for Kayaking course, Martial arts course, etc.. I need to stop by the "Time for $$$ Trap" for some quick bucks.. Cash. I need the cash.

And I really need to make time to read my books, and learn some skills.

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