Imagine.. (analogies.)

**I lost this long post i made. So I'm re-typing it. =(

* * * (10/9)
Well, went to the SUNTEC National Healthy Lifestyle Campaign exhibit today. Went to ask around the various booths.

Chanced upon some upper body stretches that can be used for choir physical warm-ups (in fact, they should be done regularly, as much as 3 times a day). Neck rotation (clockwise/anticlockwise) was found to be counterproductive - may cause injury, so next time I'm not going to use it. Neck stretching relaxes the scalpular muscles (recommended to hold in position for 5s intervals). Upper Trapezius stretch involves tilting your head 45 degrees downwards to look at the sides.

In fact, these simples exercises actually sort of prevent the discs on the upper spinal cord (vertebra) from being compressed, in such a way that may result in the nerves sandwiched in between from degenerating - thanks to the explanation by the Neuroscience institute staff. Far from trying to impress them as a know-it-all FPATH student, I discovered the things I didn't understand. Lung cancer, followed by colorectal cancer, liver ca, lymphoma ca are more likely to occur in males in our population. Females are more susceptible to breast ca & osteoporosis...

Besides the free 'body fat' checkup, (which uses expensive new equipment) I also gained a lot of knowledge of pathology (but let's not discuss about that here). It turns out that some of the hospitals in Singapore were specialised (Tan Tock Seng travel clinic having the most variety of vaccinations; or so they said).

I visited the booth at Institute of Mental Health, promoting their 'Sayang Wellness Centre'. I inquired with the staff over 'burnout' and stuff, since the booth appears to be the most deserted (no freebies). It turns out that a large proportion of mental patients suffer from Stress and Depression. It was said that NUS lecturers go there for therapy. Mental patients come from you and me. Prevention was going for therapy (but that's their side of the story).

Well, I got away with a yellow Cellulite wristband. I also bought a "Where is the fat" cookbook, written by dieticians and nutritionalists of SGH. I was intrigued by using kikkoman soy sos, saki, teryaki sauce (boiled brown sugar, ginger, and onions) to cook teriyaki chicken. I'm intending on brushing up my cooking skills this holiday. No more wasting away.

* * * (10/11)
I was writing something about, imagining I was an E. Coli cell that divides every 20 mins (like agent smith. would that be cool or what?)

Regret

Stricken with regret. I am an old man.

Well, once you've had these feelings, you will be feeling damn tired.


I couldn't sleep last night. Maybe the air-con temperature was adjusted too high. I'm going to have insommnia. After all the 'mugging' and all. Frankly speaking, I dun even call it studying. It's just daydreaming sometimes. If I had electrodes attached to my brain to show any unusual activity of brainwaves, it's in lala-land. Well, (insert bad word here) it, why can't we all study when the time arises? Why can't we be prepared for an emergency? How can we be so susceptible to environmental fluctuations? Like the chinese saying goes: wind blows, stirring grass. We're not E. coli in a culture medium, but we are living things.

Here I go spouting nonsense again; this ain't gonna help one bit.

I hope next time I could settle down and study, and dun just stone away in lala-land.

***

After all my exams, I went straight home. I knew I was doing a stupid thing. It was last min studying. I had to use the hints from the lecturers, but it turned out that the ones that I did study, did not appear on the exam script. My stamina for exams was extremely low. 10 mins into the exam and I'm already stressed up. I thought I had survived the tests, hence I would survive the exams. I was wrong. I

I came in the exam hall last min (I'm going to break this new habit). Next time, my planning would have to be day by day, instead of doing 'random/chance' studying - this would help me allocate time for each subject. And give myself some time to relax instead.

I don't want to rattle on on how much I've thought about studying, since I was never a good example of exam-readiness. I suck at it. My GPA is stagnant at 2.7. I'm hoping it doesn't drop any further.

Heaven is to steer. Hell is to drift.

I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again I will not study last minute again

I've been taking the game too seriously...


things at face value...


I thought I didn't know where I was going...


I thought I didn't know how far I was gone.


BRAIN - CLEAR UP.

Life is not a game. It's what it is.

Musings (Seize the Day!)

I'll be putting a halt to my weekly guitar lessons in a week's time. My teacher said he's sorry to see me go, because he takes care of every student like plants, like flowers (in a cynical way, he's losing a certain source of income). I empathise with how he feels, but I can't stay - the fees are too high. I feel bad draining off my parents' hard-earned money.

I remembered the time I stopped piano lessons because I felt I was progressing very slowly, and had to deal with studies. Now, I find myself back in square one. Perhaps now I can devote more time to my choral activities?

Some people invest a lot of time while they were young to learn skills. Accomplished pianists can play any song you throw at them... I wish I had practised hard...

* * *

*drifting off in my thoughts...*

The first skill I've learnt was swimming. When I was young, I would spend over 2 hours on Saturday afternoon, doing many laps of breaststroke. Sometimes, being suspended in the water felt like you were dead. I thought I was in a floating coffin, drifting in the middle of an ocean. I'm dead. Free from the physical pain in this world. Otherwise, I felt like I was a submarine... :)

... So that was a skill I invested in, and gave enormous payback.

* * *

Sometimes I have a lot of ideas in my head. The air is full of ideas. I'd like to think about them, but I'll forget the next instant, like the passing breeze.

I just watched the Dead Poet's Society, which I actually did so by the recommendation of a friend (or as discussed in her blog) "Gather rosebuds while yo may..." Carpe Diem. From my perspective, the young boys in the movie have developed a wrong interpretation of their teacher's unconventional teaching. It was true that they were impressionable. Seize the day! as the film depicts, means making use of all the available opportunities in life. Misguided, they were. They did not see the big picture, that they were part of society.

It made me think about whether conformity would be best for our lives. As matured adults, we should take our actions into consideration and think of how we interact in society. But when I applied the concept to my daily life, it gave me adrenalin rushes. I was rushing for buses, asking lecturers questions, talking to strangers, etc.. I also wondered if any careperson in our poly was going to impress on their students: "make your lives extraordinary!!"

Currently, I see life as the pathway to infinity. The road of endless possibilities. I think that youths must be encouraged to step forward and challenge the future. The chicks must emerge from the nest and venture carefully. // Yet the eagle swoops above, circling for an opportunity. If by any chance, you get picked up by predator selection... most unfortunate. What are we living for anyway? Ourselves. But that's the hard and fast rule of life. How many people may make it, the amount of people who get distinction, there are the limits. As always, I have to remind meself that life is a big game.

Things I don't understand

how tides control the sea
and what becomes of me
how little things can slip out of your hands

how often people change
no two remain the same
why things dont always turn out as you plan
these are things that i dont understand
yea these are things that i dont understand

and i cant decide
wrong from right
oh my day from night
oh the dark from light
but i love this life

how infinite is space
and who decides your fate
why everything will dissolve into sand

how to avoid defeat
where truth and fiction meet
why nothing ever turns out as you plan
these are things that i dont understand
yea these are things that i dont understand

and i cant decide
wrong from right
oh my day from night
oh the dark from light
but i love this life

Coldplay r getting better at their lyrics. =)

Zero Tolerance

I am so pissed OFF today.

I was tired, after studying last minute for FPATH. Then, a 'friend' approached me under the guise of studying. Firstly, I was annoyed when he started asking me irrelevant questions about the subjects already tested. When I started reading my notes, he was glossing over teen magazines.

I told him I was out rushing last minute work, but he kept disturbing me again and again with handphone SMSes. I'm so fucked up, I swear I'm not studying with him AGAIN! He doesn't know anything, but making a fool of himself. And I think he's just out to make trouble for me. I can see he's trying to influence me to STOP studying. He thinks I have it all in my head, but no - I know nothing!

Have you met a personality like that in your life?

15 mins before the paper. I still can't absorb anything with him playing the fool. I think I'm dead for sure, I just wanted to be left alone. He wants me to FAIL the paper with him, to do as bad as him. Some friends I have!

I f*ing swear - i'm not going to study with people like this anymore. I had spent the weekend preparing my notes for the subject, until this irritating fellow comes along and makes my day! (I don't care about your feelings - I'm just f* pissed off with what you have done to me. I can't believe how selfish you are! I needed time to revise and u just... I just want to die)

Some things, you've just got to do it on your own. I don't need anybody telling me to relax when I know how to. You'll need stress when the situation arises. I blame myself for not having the foresight, that this would happen.

PTC - one paper WASTED. That one's going down pretty bad.

Ah! I'm done for.