Proof ?

Sometimes I feel the army screws up your life big time. Especially in a 7d in-camp, then 4d training workday (8 to 5) system. It is seriously screwed up. My acapella group is in dissolution now. sigh. well, YT, never expected you to give me false hope.

While my mood is in a down, knowing that we might never meet again, it's hard to think positively... let me grieve pls...

hahahaha..... and n ow you see me smiling.


I know it's not the end. I tell myself it's not the end. It's just a phase. I know it ain't practical to schedule myself for this acapella thing too. It's too heavy on me. I know it's heavy for you guys too. So I'm not blaming anyone. Such is our fate. Would it be that we were best friends from the same choir, sharing the same dream in making music, popularising themes, and providing entertainment, and artistic insight to the masses. However, currently, my DREAM IS BUT A DROP OF FUEL FOR MY NIGHTMARE.

AND INSANITY TAKES FLIGHT!! =(

I KNOW..
I KNOW
I KNOW what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna run away from it all.

Running away from your troubles is the classic way. Each of us has to run down the mountain to meet our maker, like how we climbed up the mountain with our maker's blessings. (NOTICE I REFER TO GOD AS OUR MAKER)

I'm always thinking about GOD, the big question, because I want to know why I am here. AND I'M CERTAIN MY MAKER WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN THE CREATION OF LIFE (AND THE ARROGANT HUMAN RACE) - MOST OF US, GREW TOO PROUD FOR OURSELVES TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE ROOTS OF OUR HUMBLE ORIGINS. TO REFUTE THE EXISTENCE OF A MAKER WOULD BE FOOLISH, because an infinite existence of God (and the guises of other deities/immortals) are imperceptible to us living in the finite dimension. TO REFUTE THE EXISTENCE OF MIRACLES IS FOOLISH, FOR THERE IS MUCH WE DO NOT KNOW.

YET - YET - ONE IS INEVITABLY TRAPPED IN THE STRUGGLE OF FORCES THAT LEAD HUMANS ASTRAY FROM THE TRUTH, THEY SAY "SATAN" TRAPS MAN IN EVIL WAYS, AND GOD IS HOLINESS - GOODNESS, SHOWING THE TRUTH OF THE WORLD AND LIFESTYLE THAT MAN SHOULD LEAD.

Who can be sure? but there is definitely a God.. Don't expect me to believe atoms, the electrons, neutrons, and charges came from nowhere, from emptiness. Not wondrous ways, and not a miracle of God.

Songs and Feelings

Reflecting on my current feelings, I feel my life ought to be documented into a novel. It may be a life like any other, filled with boring periods of individual reflection and studies. Yet there are fleeting, enjoyable moments of social activity that just leave me craving with an empty stomach when they're gone. I think I can identify myself in a mood-swing. One minute, I'm listening to the negative melodic metal band, the next, some dance track...... No. This could be a result of my reflex positive correction. In fact, I corrected myself positively, instead of letting my mind linger on the negative thoughts and songs.

Eureka! I realise I can change the way I think! Probably by simply choosing to be positive and stop dwelling on negative thoughts. I can be content with what I have, and stop thinking about that which is not mine. And you can play with your own mind, if you know what perks you up. Sometimes you just need to F***ING HELL WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!! =)


My dream's but a drop of fuel for a nightmare


The walls of night have left me scarred
the broken glass I stepped on, twice.
the ardent spirits' rusty edge, decapitate me...

Believe the dreams that let you sleep
the broken glass you need to sweep
The book you read; if you found an explanation
to help you in any way,
you are your own prison.


When I listen to metal, I often impose my personal anguish into it, typical of the song style. I use it as a medium to convey my emotions, otherwise repressed. I'm not saying it's a good thing. There's a limit to how far you should express them.

And now I'm listening to MISIA... in her eighth world album. feels like 7th heaven to me.