Do not read.

I'm seeking a kindred spirit; (not the Chinese Drama 'Zhen Qing'!) or a friend that I could relate to in this world. Perhaps I should put an ad in the classifieds - 'FRIEND(s) WANTED'. One good friend is enough, but more ain't bad either.

About Friendster: Let me tell you straight, I'm not good at making friends, and if you want to be sore enemies for life, go ahead. I've tried my best - I'm not nice. U detest me; I detest you. Let's not speak to each other again, and be forever lost in the silence.

I can't type a testimonial for any of my new friends, because I don't suppose I know all of you well enough. And I guess the converse is true. I enjoy being a mysterious albeit disinteresting personality. I love being misunderstood.

I dare not provoke any more angry feelings. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

Image is very important, and so, I shall cancel my friendster acct. and bury myself in the shadows.

One good thing that came out of this:
I'm reading The Da Vinci Code, after coming across it in many friendster profiles.

Going for choir practise now.

A life of it's own.

This morning I woke up. Crisis stressors, telling me to study for 'Human Anatomy and Physiology' increased my heart rate, blood is routed to my brain. The Symphathetic Division of my Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) was facing an extremely stressful situation: Examination. My pupils dilate, allowing my eyes to see clearly in the morning light. I thought: I am so screwed. I struggled to read the 'Sliding Filament Theory' in the notes. (Shockingly true, it came out later. But I did not know how to draw the diagram.)

I spent yesterday afternoon daydreaming. This whole week, I abstained from watching Television (except TV-mobile) and music (Mozart!) was applied sparingly. I find myself talking to my mother as a past-time. She's always so busy with her work. But now, with the government cutting down on the number of civil servants, she is likely to face an early retirement next year (she's 47). I don't know why I am upset. Perhaps I will have a reduction of pocket money... My mother has always been very steadfast in her work. She is a workaholic. When she returns home at night, she still has to do the majority of housework.

Ok, I have digressed. But today, I'm suffering from lack of sleep. This morning, I grabbed my breakfast, drank two cups of green tea and headed for the bus-stop. I had to read my notes along the way (On the bus, on the MRT). I missed the Bedok station because I thought I had left my wallet on the train. I had to take the MRT back from Tanah Merah. Despite this blunder and against all odds, I made it... to... school.

The passing events became a blur mix of emotions.

In the evening, I sat alone at Shaw Towers' 'Burger King'. The waitress had mistakenly served me a large coke instead of a regular. Thus I found myself using up my free SMS. I msged sis, wondering how she was coping with O'Levels, and an old classmate of mine, whom I have lost contact with. The BK restaurant was also playing P98's chill-out hour, and the popular tunes. I was hooked on it, and they played Linkin Park's 'Numb'.

"All I want Is to be more like Me..."

I went to Tower Records before that, and they were playing a Marilyn Manson album. I felt the impulse to buy it because it makes me feel so... I don't know.

Tired la - what the hell.

Friends?

because i've been overly sensitive, (or that I didn't gather enough evidence to make accusations.) Accusations can be false, furthermore it is not a testimony in court. My blog, shall I emphasise - is an artistic platform for me to express my (limited) creativity. This time, I will have to take back all the things I said, to negotiate peace. (What would u have done in my shoes?)

I hope it comes. I hope what you said was true.

I should never believe...

Is your birthday day 7 of the month?
>Your Life
>You are sensitive to changes around you but your feeling is hardly
>expressed. You hate exaggerations. Under your quiet personality, you are
>rather stubborn and self-centered. These qualities are the force behind your
>extreme persistence.
>Your Love
>You have enormous courage to please your lover. Your relationship often
>progress quickly.

...such things.

If YOU read my blog.

Why am I suffering from stress? I was wondering as to how my practical worksheet got to the other side of the table during the start of the HAP Lab session. This is intolerable! This is evil in the first degree. I can take no more of YOUR attitude problem. If you want a war, I'll bloody hell give it to you.

To start off things, I take my hat off to the THIEF. I occupied my workbench, placing my pencilcase and calculator atop my practical worksheet. Then, at full attention, I turned to face the lecturer for the briefing. Whereas the standard practical worksheet had the caption "Execretory System," I modified my copy to 'Excretory System'. AND that was how I found you out.

I mean, YOU could have at least said sorry for taking MY PAPER (and yet you did not). YOU left me searching frantically for my paper for 5 minutes. Moreover, YOUR FRIEND accused me of taking YOUR paper. THAT REALLY PISSED ME OFF... Was it a DELIBERATE ACT? This is the SECOND DIRECT injustice done to me in this term. The first was when YOUR FRIEND screamed into my face for no good reason at all; how was I treated? I am just bottling up my temper, timed for explosion.

I am outraged.

Food for thought.

If typing in my blog means offending people, I should probably stop blogging or blog something like this. I may sound like a hypocrite, but the content in my blog is subject to my personal experiences and I have a right to my own feelings.

HOWEVER, I would like to clarify some misunderstandings about my CCN day post - I know that it is quite irreversible now - if it is still upsetting certain people. Yeah, I'm starting to think that blogging draws thin the line between public and personal life. I'm going to cross many boundaries, don't you think?

If you *cough* feel entertained, (well of course you are!) you are welcome to sit around. If not, you are free to leave. After all, this is THE MOST awfully dull :P


* * *
For those who care:

- CCN Day REVISITED. -

1. ...I have a selfish concept about this one. Why should I (raise funds) - if I am caught up in the rat-race? I am indirectly making less opportunity for myself. I do not see my benefit. Furthermore, each of us in the class is donating $10.00. Wow! A hefty sum, and some girls think they can just part with their money, like boyfriends. :)

2. ...I have been going around handing - ugly - flyers... (it refers to those in black and white print)

4. ...I was going to say, "I'm gonna do things my way! IT'S MY WAY! MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!! LALALA..." (sounds familiar?) :p (Ok, so you're UPSET about me making a fool of myself?)

5. Some day you'll see things my way. It's a matter of time. :) (I hope so.)

6. I wanted to dance. I wanted to shout. And so I just shouted instead. IT's so wrong! There should be a pretty girl dancing on the bench, (ok, in better words... maybe promoting the product) NOT me! Why were they so shy with selling our product? This will forever remain an unsolved mystery. (Ok, now I know you girls are shy, it - never! - occurred to me.)

7. It was an educational experience for me. (This is the topic sentence)

8. P.S. Please don't sell apples dipped in chocolate syrup, (see this?) cause I think it sucks big time! (it refers to the chocolate apples sold in business school)


Come to think of it, it's so troublesome - I should probably stop crapping ard here. Have a nice day.

In my words:
"You can CROWN yourself CHAMPION in your blog;
but in REALITY, you'd only make a fool out of yourself."