The final blow

My cGPA rests at 2.78. I got a B for my Major Project.

wtf.

I am like half-way between totally worn out and disgusted at... myself...

You see me studying, doing my best each time around, at home or in school... Yet, so far, I find this ain't the career for me. I cannot go far with these academic results. I might as well die.

Just a figure of speech. I would die eventually (hopefully of natural causes). But where's the glory in dying now, eh?

I need to make an emergency U-turn; to get back in the game. tata peeps.


*** Previously unpublished session of self-doubt ***

Why was I in Biotechnology? For a combination of reasons:

Innate lust for Fame and Recognition, and ultimately, Power. ( - dared - I - think! - )

I realised this today. This is a typical human drive - what am I but an insignificant human in a population of million. And how do I stand out and make the world a better place? It turns out that the definition of a better place is subjective (the concept varies from person to person), and you'd always risk upset to others in making decisions. Nevertheless, to what end was I willing to pursue, to make a name myself in the world, rather than drift on as a number? And tra la~

In all ambition, I pooled my investment, pushed all my faculties to the overdrive, for the hope of success.

I thought that you could always brainwash yourself to succeed. Now I need brainwash in the opposite direction. Reverse determinism.

***