My blog - the instrument I carry with me on this dark lonely journey, through which I vent my frustrations each step of the way... :(
Well... Life! Here we are - the crossroads. I have to decide for myself, what I want in my life. Look, I can't believe my secondary education is over. Everything is so serious now. The future looks bleak. (I'm sorry - I'm a pessimist.) A step in the wrong/right direction would be all it takes. Trapdoors. "Strive for greatness or (you) we shall be crushed..." (Was it Stalin who said that?) We don't fool around with life here. We would die playing...
* * *
I watched all 3 episodes in the Hong Kong thriller movie, "Infernal Affairs" over CNY. I admit I'm greatly sickened by the amount of blood and violence. (More headshots.)
Quotes from the movie: "Ever shaken hands with a corpse?" "Everything will be fine after tomorrow." "I'm a cop." and "give me one more chance."
For some brief moments during the deaths of the main characters, they play music comparable to that of the Lord Of The Rings. Some of the horrifying moments were in the first episode, where the elevator doors kept 'gnawing' at the dead hero's legs, which were caught in between after he was murdered.
* * *
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Many friends have left/are leaving the country. Jonathan would be leaving for the States in June.
New (and old) relationships that lead to nowhere... Impasse, I guess... I hope we are still friends? Everyone finds me a bore these days. I am a Gollum, drove mad by the ring. Who still wants to be my friend? :(
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Saturday, January 24, 2004
My music preferences
(22/1)
I woke up early today, skipping school. Yeah. Then I slacked. Surfed the net to look up on Coldplay and Radiohead. There's a 'Radio 1' documentary, "The Ticking Of Clocks" about Coldplay @ IN MY PLACE in the official website.
A part of the interview as usual, goes on about how Coldplay have gained popularity in such a short time and blah blah... since Yellow... They played God Put A Smile Upon Your Face and audio clips from the live performances...
Sometimes I hate Linkin Park and Evanescence. Sheesh. Stop those freaking blaring guitars, crap lyrics and screaming! Hopefully Chester loses his voice one day. I'm so sick of the noise. I'm so proud that I love both Radiohead and Coldplay. If you want the 'kick'... go listen to Metallica, Master Of Puppets or Nirvana...
(19/1)
I listened to The Cranberries "Wake Up And Smell The Coffee" album on Sunday. It was just phenomenal. Dolores sings better than her Evanescence counterpart. There are many good songs on the album... "Never Grow Old", "Analyse", "Pretty Eyes", "Every Morning" just to name a few. Haha. I failed to mention that I like their music too. It was revisiting two years back at the end of Secondary Two, when there was worldwide turmoil. I thought, this is it...
Back then, I fed my ears on boybands and stuff. I spent a year listening to the radio actually. I did not like R&B, Craig David stuff... Westlife, a1 were the 'in' thing. Then I bought the u2 album "All That You Can't Leave Behind". I thought... Rock? Best album?
Well... I did pick up Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory later, I tried my best to listen to it. My parents were so unhappy with the noise...
Albums I will put away now and then, only to revisit them in the distant future. Haha? Yes, haha. (because I got stuck here.)
I woke up early today, skipping school. Yeah. Then I slacked. Surfed the net to look up on Coldplay and Radiohead. There's a 'Radio 1' documentary, "The Ticking Of Clocks" about Coldplay @ IN MY PLACE in the official website.
A part of the interview as usual, goes on about how Coldplay have gained popularity in such a short time and blah blah... since Yellow... They played God Put A Smile Upon Your Face and audio clips from the live performances...
Sometimes I hate Linkin Park and Evanescence. Sheesh. Stop those freaking blaring guitars, crap lyrics and screaming! Hopefully Chester loses his voice one day. I'm so sick of the noise. I'm so proud that I love both Radiohead and Coldplay. If you want the 'kick'... go listen to Metallica, Master Of Puppets or Nirvana...
(19/1)
I listened to The Cranberries "Wake Up And Smell The Coffee" album on Sunday. It was just phenomenal. Dolores sings better than her Evanescence counterpart. There are many good songs on the album... "Never Grow Old", "Analyse", "Pretty Eyes", "Every Morning" just to name a few. Haha. I failed to mention that I like their music too. It was revisiting two years back at the end of Secondary Two, when there was worldwide turmoil. I thought, this is it...
Back then, I fed my ears on boybands and stuff. I spent a year listening to the radio actually. I did not like R&B, Craig David stuff... Westlife, a1 were the 'in' thing. Then I bought the u2 album "All That You Can't Leave Behind". I thought... Rock? Best album?
Well... I did pick up Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory later, I tried my best to listen to it. My parents were so unhappy with the noise...
Albums I will put away now and then, only to revisit them in the distant future. Haha? Yes, haha. (because I got stuck here.)
Happy Chinese New Year!!
Wish everyone a prosperous Year of the Monkey! Wish everyone live in excellent health... =)
Ho boy! Lazy to update my blog. :P
I've been reading the news...
Some news for health... (Sleep 'can increase brain power')
Some funny news... (Russian army rescues kegs of beer)
Advertisement: "If you drink, don't drive!"
Even elephants have their problems... (Drunken elephants die in accident)
Ho boy! Lazy to update my blog. :P
I've been reading the news...
Some news for health... (Sleep 'can increase brain power')
Some funny news... (Russian army rescues kegs of beer)
Advertisement: "If you drink, don't drive!"
Even elephants have their problems... (Drunken elephants die in accident)
Monday, January 19, 2004
A rainy afternoon.
I stopped by Kallang/Geylang river to admire the scenery this afternoon. Umbrella in hand, I was wondering, "what if I was an animal?" "Where would I be, out in the rain?" The need for food was always there... I saw a white bird - like a pelican, and a blue kingfisher, combing the muddy grey sands...
On the muddy sands by the Geylang river...
There I perch, with my feathers soaked in the cold rain.
I thrust my beak into the drainage water to taste it.
However bitter, salty, or full of human spit...
I taste fish!
I have spotted my prey, and however it tries to swim away...
It can never escape.
I shot a nervous glance at my rival nearby, another male of another species.
We would have to fight beak and claw over it.
I shrieked at him, "Go away!"
He said something similar, nowhere nicer,
and crept slyly nearer.
Argued we did, and so the fish escaped.
On the muddy sands by the Geylang river...
There I perch, with my feathers soaked in the cold rain.
I thrust my beak into the drainage water to taste it.
However bitter, salty, or full of human spit...
I taste fish!
I have spotted my prey, and however it tries to swim away...
It can never escape.
I shot a nervous glance at my rival nearby, another male of another species.
We would have to fight beak and claw over it.
I shrieked at him, "Go away!"
He said something similar, nowhere nicer,
and crept slyly nearer.
Argued we did, and so the fish escaped.
Saturday, January 17, 2004
A Confused Person...
What? Homework settles on my table like dust particles on furniture in the morning... I don't feel like doing! I sneezed.
I miss my pals to hang out with (hey Siang Weng!! Wong Chyi!! And yeah... Jian Jun.)
Tired! I returned last night from the great celebration of 3 birthdays... Rachel, Jason and Pang How from my OG. I haven't been much of a prescence. I hardly spoke - don't know why! I must have been in one of those anti-social moods again... It's easy for me to say "what the hell am I doing here?" out aloud, though I would really hate myself for it. It's a joyous occasion - yet I could not bring myself to smile...
I sat at the narrow end of a rectangular table for ten people. I ended up talking to Charles and Joshua, half of the time. It was my first visit to Marche @ the Heeren. The Heeren is this shopping mall dominated by HMV. What's a Heeren? Hearing? Well. Outside, you see a lot of people sitting by the roadside smoking away. On entry, there's an escalator to take you to the second floor. Behind the escalator you would see a miniature foundtain of some sort. The toilets were insane! The taps and handwash dispenser were automated. I held out a hand and got soap, instead of water. The toilet design was really unique. The mall was full of artistic appeal to attract youths. There was MTV on television sets hanging from the ceiling.
I found myself taking Neoprints with the rest of them. It was definitely my first time doing such a thing. Yeah, I heard the girls have a whole collection. -_-"''
I miss my pals to hang out with (hey Siang Weng!! Wong Chyi!! And yeah... Jian Jun.)
Tired! I returned last night from the great celebration of 3 birthdays... Rachel, Jason and Pang How from my OG. I haven't been much of a prescence. I hardly spoke - don't know why! I must have been in one of those anti-social moods again... It's easy for me to say "what the hell am I doing here?" out aloud, though I would really hate myself for it. It's a joyous occasion - yet I could not bring myself to smile...
I sat at the narrow end of a rectangular table for ten people. I ended up talking to Charles and Joshua, half of the time. It was my first visit to Marche @ the Heeren. The Heeren is this shopping mall dominated by HMV. What's a Heeren? Hearing? Well. Outside, you see a lot of people sitting by the roadside smoking away. On entry, there's an escalator to take you to the second floor. Behind the escalator you would see a miniature foundtain of some sort. The toilets were insane! The taps and handwash dispenser were automated. I held out a hand and got soap, instead of water. The toilet design was really unique. The mall was full of artistic appeal to attract youths. There was MTV on television sets hanging from the ceiling.
I found myself taking Neoprints with the rest of them. It was definitely my first time doing such a thing. Yeah, I heard the girls have a whole collection. -_-"''
Thursday, January 15, 2004
A narrative essay (one that wastes your time as well as mine).
To catch a runaway bus today, I RAN TO THE NEXT BUS-STOP... THE RED MAN TURNED GREEN, SO I hurried along, schoolbag, plastic bag, and all... THE GREEN MAN BLINKED BEFORE MY EYES as I got to the road junction. CARS turned in THIS WAY AND THAT - IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE, IT SEEMED. I HESITATED AS the RED MAN came on the SCENE. WHEN ALL WAS HOPELESS, IT JUST SEEMS AS IF I WOULD MISS THE BUS...
I VIOLATED the traffic regulations and JAY-WALKED ACROSS, fleeing like a bird. It was a wonderful feeling, and I felt IN CONTROL OF MY DESTINY for a MOMENT... HOWEVER, AT the same time I FELT a chill down my spine. I thought about seeing GHOST CARS WITH THEIR GHOST DRIVERS blowing down on the WIND AND NOISES, the BLARING HORNS CRUSHING DOWN on my eardrums relentlessly.
Many cars have come to pass as I took my last steps off the tarred road. What I have left is the noise behind, and THIS etched in my memory...
"DO NOT JAYWALK."
(To be continued...)
**Editor's note: I am considering these two fictional paragraphs that just add humor - spoil the atmosphere, I mean - in the story...**
* * *
My head screamed "GET OFF!"... but all I could do was to remain where I was. There. Right there in the middle of the road, trapped in time and... in control of my own destiny... I am the matador facing the charging bull... I am the matador facing the charging bull... Great. This must be how they feel. Heroes for all that bravura... Hey dude, where's my cape?
With a devilish grin, I held up my green plastic bag - imprinted on it "Four Leaves"... (full of bread for breakfast) and awaited a certain death. The crowd surged in excitement... The pedestrains and drivers swiveled their heads to look...
* * *
I continued running on the pavement towards the bus stop. It was still there waiting for me. Then there was this accursed metal chain strung between two posts making accessibility difficult for me. I considered. I tried to clear the hurdle with one... leap...
I flew! I was such a comical sight, I would have laughed my head off if I saw myself! The ground came close as I fell forward. Thoughts ran through my head - you know, like "oh no, I fell down."
I found myself on all fours. Dazed, I picked up the bag containing bread. Thankfully, the food was still inside. I was not bleeding, but my hands were red from the fall. I scrambled to my feet and ran to the bus-stop... In the end, I caught it - the driver opened up the door again, for me. I sat in the back of the bus to catch my breath and checked for injuries from the fall...
I could not clear the chain because my schoolbag weighed down on me! I should have walked around the obstacle... With hindsight, what I did was undoubtedly foolish... But from another point of view, if I did not try - how could I have known if I succeeded? Dreaded metal chain! Why did they have to install them there?
I VIOLATED the traffic regulations and JAY-WALKED ACROSS, fleeing like a bird. It was a wonderful feeling, and I felt IN CONTROL OF MY DESTINY for a MOMENT... HOWEVER, AT the same time I FELT a chill down my spine. I thought about seeing GHOST CARS WITH THEIR GHOST DRIVERS blowing down on the WIND AND NOISES, the BLARING HORNS CRUSHING DOWN on my eardrums relentlessly.
Many cars have come to pass as I took my last steps off the tarred road. What I have left is the noise behind, and THIS etched in my memory...
"DO NOT JAYWALK."
(To be continued...)
**Editor's note: I am considering these two fictional paragraphs that just add humor - spoil the atmosphere, I mean - in the story...**
* * *
My head screamed "GET OFF!"... but all I could do was to remain where I was. There. Right there in the middle of the road, trapped in time and... in control of my own destiny... I am the matador facing the charging bull... I am the matador facing the charging bull... Great. This must be how they feel. Heroes for all that bravura... Hey dude, where's my cape?
With a devilish grin, I held up my green plastic bag - imprinted on it "Four Leaves"... (full of bread for breakfast) and awaited a certain death. The crowd surged in excitement... The pedestrains and drivers swiveled their heads to look...
* * *
I continued running on the pavement towards the bus stop. It was still there waiting for me. Then there was this accursed metal chain strung between two posts making accessibility difficult for me. I considered. I tried to clear the hurdle with one... leap...
I flew! I was such a comical sight, I would have laughed my head off if I saw myself! The ground came close as I fell forward. Thoughts ran through my head - you know, like "oh no, I fell down."
I found myself on all fours. Dazed, I picked up the bag containing bread. Thankfully, the food was still inside. I was not bleeding, but my hands were red from the fall. I scrambled to my feet and ran to the bus-stop... In the end, I caught it - the driver opened up the door again, for me. I sat in the back of the bus to catch my breath and checked for injuries from the fall...
I could not clear the chain because my schoolbag weighed down on me! I should have walked around the obstacle... With hindsight, what I did was undoubtedly foolish... But from another point of view, if I did not try - how could I have known if I succeeded? Dreaded metal chain! Why did they have to install them there?
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