concerned with the survival of their own species, nothing more. No more noble than others!
- THAT is one of my core beliefs. We exhaust our energies grappling with a myraid of lofty ideas. Running around in circles. Chasing our tails. We may find solutions; another planet to inhabit; or another reality; to aid us in our evolutionary journey, but we'll never run away from the reality of being a Human, and our innate biological needs. Every moment, your soul is screaming 'FEED ME', "Is that all you've got?" "Hell yeah." Recognise these primal instincts. I know them like my best pal.
So stop giving yourself excuses that Humans are more noble than all the other creatures. So condemn domestic abuse, animal abuse, and meat factories. The only thing we are blessed with, is a finite wisdom, a surety of knowledge that has prospered over the generations. Hurt begets hurt. So let be, let's lift our heads up high and hunt for the meaning of our lives (abstractly speaking).
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Project Narrative
(Edited 19/2/11)
I miss the narratives we used to write in class in my secondary school days. I had the inkling that the passage of time will rid me of many unpleasant things I want to forget via loss of memory, only to be replaced by the fond memorable ones which will grow more vivid.
I wonder what stifled my creativity these days, in my endless pursuit of doing things right and speeding up the way I work. "Wielder of the needle," I call myself.
"The needle speaks the truth, it is unbiased, except when it trades hands..." That's the mantra which I chant in my head, when the fearful patient looks nervously at me as he/she seats down in the chair of fate.
I have suffered numerous defeats and humiliations when my patient groans in pain as I withdrew a needle in failure. I swear most of whatever happens has to do with my own personal skill.
There are several more things I want to write about but I never had the time to expand on these ideas. Perhaps it was the way I organised things.
Note: The stories below are fictitious, incomplete fragments of thoughts for writing practice only. Any resemblance to real-life persons is purely coincidential.
So, in the style of Murakami...
---
#1. GPMG Grilling
I miss my day of shame, as I sat down behind the GPMG as a trainee. The Sergeant grilled me verbally, relentlessly. Faced with the mounting stress and not knowing what to do, tears rolled down my cheeks out of their own volition. But I did not cry or sniffle. This was entirely a stress response. I had to overcome this in front of a peer setting. No tearing. I swear, no tearing.
Rewind back a few months to BMT, I had my day of pride, as I was the fastest runner during one of the training 2.4 km runs. Even my OC gave me a pat on the back. But what's a good runner to do if he can't keep his cool?
***
Interlude
While my thoughts began to meander endlessly back-and-forth, the cogs and wheels began to turn and churn out my amazing thoughts, like a wondrous factory. These excursions of the mind, as I sit down, desk and chair, my primary vehicle to carry me, cruising excessively, a curious child again, through the recesses of my mind.
***
#2. I miss those polytechnic days, where I was glued to the idea that "the one who works himself hardest, shall reap the greatest returns". I miss studying on the bus, buried in my notes, and bored by all that text. I tried to appear uninterested in the attractive girls that walked by down the aisles, and dismiss you as a 'loser' with a little less than a parting glance.
***
#3. Standing Guard, Night-shift
The night was dry outside, and he stood guard at the guardpost as usual, waiting for things to happen. It was 2.30 AM in the morning. The outgoing shift was a dog-tired face, a glowing shade of pale and much-relieved at the sight of his comrade. He checks the battery-life indicator on his walkie-talkie and hands it to me, along with the communal loaded magazine of 5.56 rounds that we might have to use, in the event of any unlikely threat to the base.
"See ya at 8 AM tomorrow"
Without another word, he turns right and heads for the general direction of the guardhouse, where we bunk-in after duty, to restore our rifles back onto the rifle rack. Turning the lock in, we turn around to find our beds laid out like tongues in the seductive darkness. Meanwhile, mother slumber beckons her will enticely. Where we seek her to grant us a good night's rest, before the earth spins faster and throws our slumber plans into disarray, by the noisy racketing of rifles when the morning comes.
I remembered this morning. Or should I say this afternoon, I was swimming in the pool of the sports complex. And so was my head now, swimming. It was a good choice in retrospect. But I'm feeling groggy now. Due to waking up at this kind of unholy hour. I don't feel at all like talking. What should I do? Close my eyes. I rest my hands on my rifle. Sure there's a bud, a partner that can talk to, on this damn shift. Damn. But I'm too tired to express grumpiness.
Yin Zong. This fella was always having the girlfriend issues. He was talking on the phone. Said goodbye, and now sms-ing. What a lousy phone, I thought. It was so old and outdated. Yet it didn't have a camera, like mine did. I let out a faint chuckle within a little corner of my mind. And I thought, hell I must be crazy.
"Hey Jeremy, do you think you're weird?"
"Everyone thinks everyone is weird because they haven't been through what they have been.." I said
"Jeremy, just answer this question - yes or no - do you think you're weird?"
With an infinite patience that seems to grow every minute, I cocked my head sideways to face him.
"No. Why the heck would I think I am weird?"
A long silence ensues. So I look away, and glanced at my rifle. I glanced up and adjusted my jockey cap. What the hell, you're no better yourself... I thought. Yin Zong resumed the reassuring tapping away at his phone, an important message to his girlfriend, or maybe someone else he can find at this hour, I thought. At least he's predictable, unlike the restless wandering in my cranium.
I felt the dampness of the land breeze pass through my nostrils. I listened to my heartbeat thumping steadily in my chest, as I sat hunched on the cold, cheap stool. I switched on the radio on my handphone to help me stay awake and interested in the scenery before me. A long straight road for 200m, then my eyes met a small yellow light that blinked at short intervals. The first line of defense for the base, which reported anything suspicious coming by our way. The light blinked like a floating star above the ground. And So did the light on the walkie talkie.
"Yin Zong.."
"What..."
"Nothing..."
So we entertained ourselves as time passed. I kept a conscious watch for as long as I could, until my eyelids closed upon themselves. The chilly night stole away my consciousness. Time passed. When I returned back to reality, my eyes were open again. So I thought, Holy shit. I just had a waking dream.
***
As the waves tossed below the tower, I lay awake, wondering of the girl that I went out with at the movie. Sure, she's three years older than me, but at least she's takes a genuine interest in my personal well-being (a little later, she got uninterested upon discovering my limits and divergent interests).
***
I've always had the same dream of the scene where Bilbo Baggins chances upon Gollum's precious ring. The two of us buddies out on foot patrol, that one day we might stumble on something seriously bad. But Frodo and Sam always looked out for each other. This characterised my feelings during those NS days.
I miss the narratives we used to write in class in my secondary school days. I had the inkling that the passage of time will rid me of many unpleasant things I want to forget via loss of memory, only to be replaced by the fond memorable ones which will grow more vivid.
I wonder what stifled my creativity these days, in my endless pursuit of doing things right and speeding up the way I work. "Wielder of the needle," I call myself.
"The needle speaks the truth, it is unbiased, except when it trades hands..." That's the mantra which I chant in my head, when the fearful patient looks nervously at me as he/she seats down in the chair of fate.
I have suffered numerous defeats and humiliations when my patient groans in pain as I withdrew a needle in failure. I swear most of whatever happens has to do with my own personal skill.
There are several more things I want to write about but I never had the time to expand on these ideas. Perhaps it was the way I organised things.
Note: The stories below are fictitious, incomplete fragments of thoughts for writing practice only. Any resemblance to real-life persons is purely coincidential.
So, in the style of Murakami...
---
#1. GPMG Grilling
I miss my day of shame, as I sat down behind the GPMG as a trainee. The Sergeant grilled me verbally, relentlessly. Faced with the mounting stress and not knowing what to do, tears rolled down my cheeks out of their own volition. But I did not cry or sniffle. This was entirely a stress response. I had to overcome this in front of a peer setting. No tearing. I swear, no tearing.
Rewind back a few months to BMT, I had my day of pride, as I was the fastest runner during one of the training 2.4 km runs. Even my OC gave me a pat on the back. But what's a good runner to do if he can't keep his cool?
***
Interlude
While my thoughts began to meander endlessly back-and-forth, the cogs and wheels began to turn and churn out my amazing thoughts, like a wondrous factory. These excursions of the mind, as I sit down, desk and chair, my primary vehicle to carry me, cruising excessively, a curious child again, through the recesses of my mind.
***
#2. I miss those polytechnic days, where I was glued to the idea that "the one who works himself hardest, shall reap the greatest returns". I miss studying on the bus, buried in my notes, and bored by all that text. I tried to appear uninterested in the attractive girls that walked by down the aisles, and dismiss you as a 'loser' with a little less than a parting glance.
***
#3. Standing Guard, Night-shift
The night was dry outside, and he stood guard at the guardpost as usual, waiting for things to happen. It was 2.30 AM in the morning. The outgoing shift was a dog-tired face, a glowing shade of pale and much-relieved at the sight of his comrade. He checks the battery-life indicator on his walkie-talkie and hands it to me, along with the communal loaded magazine of 5.56 rounds that we might have to use, in the event of any unlikely threat to the base.
"See ya at 8 AM tomorrow"
Without another word, he turns right and heads for the general direction of the guardhouse, where we bunk-in after duty, to restore our rifles back onto the rifle rack. Turning the lock in, we turn around to find our beds laid out like tongues in the seductive darkness. Meanwhile, mother slumber beckons her will enticely. Where we seek her to grant us a good night's rest, before the earth spins faster and throws our slumber plans into disarray, by the noisy racketing of rifles when the morning comes.
I remembered this morning. Or should I say this afternoon, I was swimming in the pool of the sports complex. And so was my head now, swimming. It was a good choice in retrospect. But I'm feeling groggy now. Due to waking up at this kind of unholy hour. I don't feel at all like talking. What should I do? Close my eyes. I rest my hands on my rifle. Sure there's a bud, a partner that can talk to, on this damn shift. Damn. But I'm too tired to express grumpiness.
Yin Zong. This fella was always having the girlfriend issues. He was talking on the phone. Said goodbye, and now sms-ing. What a lousy phone, I thought. It was so old and outdated. Yet it didn't have a camera, like mine did. I let out a faint chuckle within a little corner of my mind. And I thought, hell I must be crazy.
"Hey Jeremy, do you think you're weird?"
"Everyone thinks everyone is weird because they haven't been through what they have been.." I said
"Jeremy, just answer this question - yes or no - do you think you're weird?"
With an infinite patience that seems to grow every minute, I cocked my head sideways to face him.
"No. Why the heck would I think I am weird?"
A long silence ensues. So I look away, and glanced at my rifle. I glanced up and adjusted my jockey cap. What the hell, you're no better yourself... I thought. Yin Zong resumed the reassuring tapping away at his phone, an important message to his girlfriend, or maybe someone else he can find at this hour, I thought. At least he's predictable, unlike the restless wandering in my cranium.
I felt the dampness of the land breeze pass through my nostrils. I listened to my heartbeat thumping steadily in my chest, as I sat hunched on the cold, cheap stool. I switched on the radio on my handphone to help me stay awake and interested in the scenery before me. A long straight road for 200m, then my eyes met a small yellow light that blinked at short intervals. The first line of defense for the base, which reported anything suspicious coming by our way. The light blinked like a floating star above the ground. And So did the light on the walkie talkie.
"Yin Zong.."
"What..."
"Nothing..."
So we entertained ourselves as time passed. I kept a conscious watch for as long as I could, until my eyelids closed upon themselves. The chilly night stole away my consciousness. Time passed. When I returned back to reality, my eyes were open again. So I thought, Holy shit. I just had a waking dream.
***
As the waves tossed below the tower, I lay awake, wondering of the girl that I went out with at the movie. Sure, she's three years older than me, but at least she's takes a genuine interest in my personal well-being (a little later, she got uninterested upon discovering my limits and divergent interests).
***
I've always had the same dream of the scene where Bilbo Baggins chances upon Gollum's precious ring. The two of us buddies out on foot patrol, that one day we might stumble on something seriously bad. But Frodo and Sam always looked out for each other. This characterised my feelings during those NS days.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry X'mas
Not much of a Christmas Cheer this year, but I am satisfied and content thus far.
With HINDSIGHT... I looked through my hotmail inbox (Filled with 168 messages). I have been sending out resumes and applying for jobs with progressive desperation since June 11 2009. I even sent out to my Major Project Supervisor in 2007, Dr Lipovich - he was relocated, back in his country, teaching at some Medical University. Poor me. All the 4 pages filled up with emails sent out to job agencies, adverts, postings... At least 33 emails per page. Work out your math and I have sent out around 123 Emails specifically looking for jobs that could make me earn my keep.
I got lucky. After the barrage of emails, 10 o' clock, September 11 2009, in a HR office at Jalan Bukit Merah, I signed a 2-year contract with SINGHEALTH, to start work for them commencing September 18.. I am thankful that I got here, where I am now. Smelling Blood and Urine... Microscopy, Operating sophisticated machines, meeting all kinds of people, getting philosophical insights about the nature of life, appreciating people, and learning how to work with people of different personalities.
Look at me now, I am happy and generally content with my work.
But my human heart feels lonely - this biological machine feels as if it's missing something - a companion - oil to lubricate the smooth running of the machine everyday. Someone to look forward to meet after work, to share life's joys and sorrows. To appreciate life together in a mutually inclusive state.
I am longing to find that someone. She's got to exist. but for now it's back to work.
With HINDSIGHT... I looked through my hotmail inbox (Filled with 168 messages). I have been sending out resumes and applying for jobs with progressive desperation since June 11 2009. I even sent out to my Major Project Supervisor in 2007, Dr Lipovich - he was relocated, back in his country, teaching at some Medical University. Poor me. All the 4 pages filled up with emails sent out to job agencies, adverts, postings... At least 33 emails per page. Work out your math and I have sent out around 123 Emails specifically looking for jobs that could make me earn my keep.
I got lucky. After the barrage of emails, 10 o' clock, September 11 2009, in a HR office at Jalan Bukit Merah, I signed a 2-year contract with SINGHEALTH, to start work for them commencing September 18.. I am thankful that I got here, where I am now. Smelling Blood and Urine... Microscopy, Operating sophisticated machines, meeting all kinds of people, getting philosophical insights about the nature of life, appreciating people, and learning how to work with people of different personalities.
Look at me now, I am happy and generally content with my work.
But my human heart feels lonely - this biological machine feels as if it's missing something - a companion - oil to lubricate the smooth running of the machine everyday. Someone to look forward to meet after work, to share life's joys and sorrows. To appreciate life together in a mutually inclusive state.
I am longing to find that someone. She's got to exist. but for now it's back to work.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Jonathan
(Updated 15 Oct. Original post dated 23 Jul.)
I've always been impressed by a friend called Jonathan. Jonathan was a choir-mate in secondary school, then he became class-rep for my days in Millenia Institute. Now he's earned a University degree via overseas studies in America. Those days were fleetingly swell. If I were ever to get a respectable English name, it would be Jonathan - for it represents someone who is morally upright, reliable, takes action, and remains loyal to his friends.
* * * HISTORY '09 THUS FAR (POST-NS) * * *
Taiwan trip with CDS Batch 14 platoon-mates (Jun 19 - 25).
Job-hunt anxiety and a few interviews ensued. Life crisis emerges - to pursue which degree - Sports Science or Biomedical Science?
Jonathan was conned by TRUST TUITION AGENCY (TRUST TUITION CENTER) into becoming a Tuition Coordinator (ie. someone that prints his own flyers, gives out to parents waiting outside primary school. Lesson Learnt: (1) Ignore Work-from-Home ads in Classifieds Part-time/ Temporary section. (2) Doing business requires a clear head, and properly done calculations. (3) I do not hold Joshua Koh Fu Beng and Ms Koh in high regard. - ~$220 for 3 months of a poorly maintained Tutor database. They have done me a great disservice.
Chronic pain, tightness in right ankle (post-sprains) made me have 2nd thoughts about sports science.
Jonathan thoroughly enjoyed his 2-day stint as a distributor for the Events Artery, giving out promotional tissues opp. Capitol Mall, Raffles place, to promote the WATSONS CARD. Fond memories, esp of the supervisor, Joselyn who tailed me with the camera... + $60
Jonathan was in CPF Board. From August 17 - Sept 11. Did data entry work with Ching Hau, Ivan, Joyce, Remy, most of the time. Got to know Glenn, m1, m2, m3,.. and Perm-staff Adeline, Yoke Lan, Yoke Chai, Hafiz, Noor Aza, Alan, Patricia... and understood some of the mechanics of office-life. Always joked that I would climb the 37+ storeys of the CPF building to train for Vertical marathon, but didn't have the guts to try. I loved the CPF Building Food on the 34th floor.
One day, I planned a run home after work. I changed to a running singlet and shorts in the toilet, did my stretching on the 30th floor, took the lift down, my attire surprised several office ladies. Stopped after I met an old man who entered the lift, he made some small talk about my running. I replied politely, and remarked I have hardly time to exercise. He exited the lift at a lower level. To my amusement, an office-lady in the lift told me he is a CEO of CPF Board. I said oh, i didn't know... After all, I am just a temp staff there and I couldn't look for a raise or promotion, hahaha.
Received calls from Chinese ppl trying to con me of my money.. Entertained them at first, and was tempted to believe. Fortunately, I got a job offer and decided to ignore them.
* * * 18 Sep 2009 : SGH : Patients at the heart of all we do * * *
Resume: Blood collection, ECG, (more to come?)...
Blood collection IS a richly rewarding challenge. I will never be able to look at a Human arm the same way again.
Serving elderly patients remind me that each day, life is a journey to be cherished. Old men I serve remain humble towards this young inexperienced lad, despite their heyday accomplishments. Today I serve them, and who knows, a young lad (yet unborn still) will serve me and my generation in the future, perhaps using more sophisticated medical equipment then the one i'm using. Maybe I will talk to the young lad, about how I used to do ECG for post-war (The Great War) baby boomers in my 20s. When that day comes, my skin may be shrivelled, rough, and stretchy, with blotchy patches. We all get old.
Reminds me of a moral that a man (anyone born human) was never meant to survive his/her whole life alone, but he/she needs help from his brothers and sisters from time to time. Thus he should be there to help others for the sake of passing on this sacred ritual to ensure our species survival. He feels good inside, that he has done good for a fellow. And who knows, the positive experience noted by the fellow will be related to to his primary contacts, and what goes around, may come around.
I am humbled by the strength in character of some of my colleagues. Namely, their honesty, selflessness, and team-spirit. I am grateful to them for sharing some of their experiences.
my dream job.
I've always been impressed by a friend called Jonathan. Jonathan was a choir-mate in secondary school, then he became class-rep for my days in Millenia Institute. Now he's earned a University degree via overseas studies in America. Those days were fleetingly swell. If I were ever to get a respectable English name, it would be Jonathan - for it represents someone who is morally upright, reliable, takes action, and remains loyal to his friends.
* * * HISTORY '09 THUS FAR (POST-NS) * * *
Taiwan trip with CDS Batch 14 platoon-mates (Jun 19 - 25).
Job-hunt anxiety and a few interviews ensued. Life crisis emerges - to pursue which degree - Sports Science or Biomedical Science?
Jonathan was conned by TRUST TUITION AGENCY (TRUST TUITION CENTER) into becoming a Tuition Coordinator (ie. someone that prints his own flyers, gives out to parents waiting outside primary school. Lesson Learnt: (1) Ignore Work-from-Home ads in Classifieds Part-time/ Temporary section. (2) Doing business requires a clear head, and properly done calculations. (3) I do not hold Joshua Koh Fu Beng and Ms Koh in high regard. - ~$220 for 3 months of a poorly maintained Tutor database. They have done me a great disservice.
Chronic pain, tightness in right ankle (post-sprains) made me have 2nd thoughts about sports science.
Jonathan thoroughly enjoyed his 2-day stint as a distributor for the Events Artery, giving out promotional tissues opp. Capitol Mall, Raffles place, to promote the WATSONS CARD. Fond memories, esp of the supervisor, Joselyn who tailed me with the camera... + $60
Jonathan was in CPF Board. From August 17 - Sept 11. Did data entry work with Ching Hau, Ivan, Joyce, Remy, most of the time. Got to know Glenn, m1, m2, m3,.. and Perm-staff Adeline, Yoke Lan, Yoke Chai, Hafiz, Noor Aza, Alan, Patricia... and understood some of the mechanics of office-life. Always joked that I would climb the 37+ storeys of the CPF building to train for Vertical marathon, but didn't have the guts to try. I loved the CPF Building Food on the 34th floor.
One day, I planned a run home after work. I changed to a running singlet and shorts in the toilet, did my stretching on the 30th floor, took the lift down, my attire surprised several office ladies. Stopped after I met an old man who entered the lift, he made some small talk about my running. I replied politely, and remarked I have hardly time to exercise. He exited the lift at a lower level. To my amusement, an office-lady in the lift told me he is a CEO of CPF Board. I said oh, i didn't know... After all, I am just a temp staff there and I couldn't look for a raise or promotion, hahaha.
Received calls from Chinese ppl trying to con me of my money.. Entertained them at first, and was tempted to believe. Fortunately, I got a job offer and decided to ignore them.
* * * 18 Sep 2009 : SGH : Patients at the heart of all we do * * *
Resume: Blood collection, ECG, (more to come?)...
Blood collection IS a richly rewarding challenge. I will never be able to look at a Human arm the same way again.
Serving elderly patients remind me that each day, life is a journey to be cherished. Old men I serve remain humble towards this young inexperienced lad, despite their heyday accomplishments. Today I serve them, and who knows, a young lad (yet unborn still) will serve me and my generation in the future, perhaps using more sophisticated medical equipment then the one i'm using. Maybe I will talk to the young lad, about how I used to do ECG for post-war (The Great War) baby boomers in my 20s. When that day comes, my skin may be shrivelled, rough, and stretchy, with blotchy patches. We all get old.
Reminds me of a moral that a man (anyone born human) was never meant to survive his/her whole life alone, but he/she needs help from his brothers and sisters from time to time. Thus he should be there to help others for the sake of passing on this sacred ritual to ensure our species survival. He feels good inside, that he has done good for a fellow. And who knows, the positive experience noted by the fellow will be related to to his primary contacts, and what goes around, may come around.
I am humbled by the strength in character of some of my colleagues. Namely, their honesty, selflessness, and team-spirit. I am grateful to them for sharing some of their experiences.
my dream job.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Taking stock 120709
Disorder #1
Unnecessary Burdens - "Today's headlines takes precedence over yesterday's." This is the ideal world everyone wants to live in. For many times, I want to tell myself Today is a brand new day, but a lot of horrible stuff from yesterday just spills over today. It's a little annoying that I can't (1) just loosen up and let go of my burdens. (*) I hate the rigidity of my ideas. I have developed a complex relationship with material stuff. Yesterday's news in my closet, a storehouse for ideas I don't want to lose. But it can be a little stifling as it takes up space...
Disorder #2
Negativity - if it's not chemical, it's psychological. Got to get those neurons firing properly. Positive signals ONLY. If I hear a harmful thought - I'm gonna kill it. Denounce it, dethrone it, squash it like a pest.
Disorder #3
Anger - I must be at peace with myself and disallow my emotions to take control. The logical person reigns.
* * *
I have been pondering incessantly about my destiny, but it has not grown obsessive. I've been letting it go - be it the leisurely cycle, the personal 2.4 time trial, the resume-editing, and the thoughts over a job advert.
Well, I've applied for some jobs thus far. And I really gonna get one to prove to myself that I can. (Hmm. Maybe I should just tell myself I can.) Then I should make time for other things I want to do. No wait. There's the income factor. I can't ask for sponsorship for Kayaking course, Martial arts course, etc.. I need to stop by the "Time for $$$ Trap" for some quick bucks.. Cash. I need the cash.
And I really need to make time to read my books, and learn some skills.
Unnecessary Burdens - "Today's headlines takes precedence over yesterday's." This is the ideal world everyone wants to live in. For many times, I want to tell myself Today is a brand new day, but a lot of horrible stuff from yesterday just spills over today. It's a little annoying that I can't (1) just loosen up and let go of my burdens. (*) I hate the rigidity of my ideas. I have developed a complex relationship with material stuff. Yesterday's news in my closet, a storehouse for ideas I don't want to lose. But it can be a little stifling as it takes up space...
Disorder #2
Negativity - if it's not chemical, it's psychological. Got to get those neurons firing properly. Positive signals ONLY. If I hear a harmful thought - I'm gonna kill it. Denounce it, dethrone it, squash it like a pest.
Disorder #3
Anger - I must be at peace with myself and disallow my emotions to take control. The logical person reigns.
* * *
I have been pondering incessantly about my destiny, but it has not grown obsessive. I've been letting it go - be it the leisurely cycle, the personal 2.4 time trial, the resume-editing, and the thoughts over a job advert.
Well, I've applied for some jobs thus far. And I really gonna get one to prove to myself that I can. (Hmm. Maybe I should just tell myself I can.) Then I should make time for other things I want to do. No wait. There's the income factor. I can't ask for sponsorship for Kayaking course, Martial arts course, etc.. I need to stop by the "Time for $$$ Trap" for some quick bucks.. Cash. I need the cash.
And I really need to make time to read my books, and learn some skills.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Fleet Foxes Mykonos
I fully endorse this band bcos it rocks.
Lyrics for Mykonos (as interpreted by chutzpah, retrieved fr http://songmeanings.net)
The door slammed loud and rose up a cloud of dust on us
Footsteps follow, down through the hollow sound, torn up
And you will go to Mykonos
With a vision of a gentle coast
And a sun to maybe dissipate
Shadows of the mess you made
How did any holes in the snow tipped pines, I find
Hatching from the seed of your thin mind, all night?
And you will go to Mykonos
With a vision of a gentle coast
And a sun to maybe dissipate
Shadows of the mess you made
Brother you don't need to turn me away
I was waiting down at the ancient gate
You go
Wherever you go today
You go today
I remember how they took you down
As the winter turned the meadow brown
You go
Wherever you go today
You go today
When I walking brother don't you forget
It ain't often you'll ever find a friend
You go
Wherever you go today
You go today
[x8]
Monday, June 01, 2009
How has NS changed you?
period of serving NS:
That a person can produce too many thoughts in a day. and there must be a filter to remove toxic thoughts from the consciousness.
- Negativity is detrimental to health
- one must be equipped with the correct attitude/mindset.
- one must set realistic goals and work towards one goal at a time.
That hardware can be extremely valuable but one must reduce himself to zero hardware to cope with times of crisis.
Mr Rahmat of TPY Cash Converters has a tough life as a store manager. Age over 50 plus, yet he has to meet the demands of 1000 over customers each weekend. I met him one Saturday afternoon when I bought a 29" Philips TV for the Guardhouse. In a long-sleeved shirt and tie, he had to carry a TV and several other bulky items that customers ordered, and smile when interacting w/ customers.
- Be humble in life, for everyone has his own share of challenges to face, and
- we should look after each other when possible.
That a person can produce too many thoughts in a day. and there must be a filter to remove toxic thoughts from the consciousness.
- Negativity is detrimental to health
- one must be equipped with the correct attitude/mindset.
- one must set realistic goals and work towards one goal at a time.
That hardware can be extremely valuable but one must reduce himself to zero hardware to cope with times of crisis.
Mr Rahmat of TPY Cash Converters has a tough life as a store manager. Age over 50 plus, yet he has to meet the demands of 1000 over customers each weekend. I met him one Saturday afternoon when I bought a 29" Philips TV for the Guardhouse. In a long-sleeved shirt and tie, he had to carry a TV and several other bulky items that customers ordered, and smile when interacting w/ customers.
- Be humble in life, for everyone has his own share of challenges to face, and
- we should look after each other when possible.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Being Different.
Hm. Maybe I'm destined to be a Hermit. But being alone for the weekend don't seem so bad as I thought. I'm not smiling to myself half-the-time, but my burdens have got lighter, bcos I'm not impulsively running outdoors cos I feel like it. No longer running outside to meet friends. Now I do things differently, I see things differently! I'm eradicating all my false and unrealistic assumptions. If I just allocate a given amount of time alone, and for friends, I may begin to see the light after all. :P
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Avocadoes RULE DA WORLD!
Well-written article:
"The Little Green Avocado Book also states that an acre of avocado trees can yield more food than an acre of any other tree crop. Imagine the ecological implications--a perfectly healthful “meaty” food which requires 1/200th or less of the acreage needed by the cattle industry for a comparable yield in pounds, posing no pollution problems--and no carnage! Worried about mad cow disease?--eat raw avocados, seeds and nuts and stay sane and mentally keen! "
http://www.living-foods.com/articles/avocadoarticle.html
I enjoyed the raw avocado today. ^_^
"The Little Green Avocado Book also states that an acre of avocado trees can yield more food than an acre of any other tree crop. Imagine the ecological implications--a perfectly healthful “meaty” food which requires 1/200th or less of the acreage needed by the cattle industry for a comparable yield in pounds, posing no pollution problems--and no carnage! Worried about mad cow disease?--eat raw avocados, seeds and nuts and stay sane and mentally keen! "
http://www.living-foods.com/articles/avocadoarticle.html
I enjoyed the raw avocado today. ^_^
Purely a Ridding process
Q1. What kind of career would you consider? (refer to Q2)
A1: Journalism, Environmentalist, Physical-Trainer, Veterinary, Lab Technician, Film-making, Hospitality and Tourism.
Follow-up
a) what kind of qualifications are required for the job?
b) Do you think you can handle the job on a long term basis?
Q2. What kind of career don't you wish to pursue?
A2: Butcher, Fisherman, NS, Salesman, IT Technician, Engineer, Teacher, Singer, Clerk, Business, Researcher.
Currently it all boils down to realistic expectations.
A1: Journalism, Environmentalist, Physical-Trainer, Veterinary, Lab Technician, Film-making, Hospitality and Tourism.
Follow-up
a) what kind of qualifications are required for the job?
b) Do you think you can handle the job on a long term basis?
Q2. What kind of career don't you wish to pursue?
A2: Butcher, Fisherman, NS, Salesman, IT Technician, Engineer, Teacher, Singer, Clerk, Business, Researcher.
Currently it all boils down to realistic expectations.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Psycho-pictography
I'm reading this book by Vernon Howard upon recommendation by a friend. I think I really needed it, so I took up the recommendation. After all, it's not true that everyone can cope with rejection as it comes. It's not something to be glorious about. But the real me doesn't think I should just cover it up as a vulnerable spot.
I'm just thinking over it. Although I'm trying not to think about the crisis for the moment. Really, I can't blame anyone, except for myself and how I controlled my emotions.
I'm just thinking over it. Although I'm trying not to think about the crisis for the moment. Really, I can't blame anyone, except for myself and how I controlled my emotions.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
If no one cheers me on...
It is always a challenge to scrape together my thoughts to cough up a reflection of my current life. Even more challenging is finding joy at the dull lack of milestones in my life. In contrast, the newspaper, which involve collective human experiences is much more interesting. Asking a girl out becomes a challenge, second to asking a friend out. Then there's always the basal dread of long-term commitments towards my goals and ambitions. I wonder why often, I inevitably find myself -freaking hell- worrying about today, and not enjoying my life to the fullest. Yes, I'm sulking here. My little hiding place.
Meanwhile, I have got things to do (On my own). I have gotten all too comfortable in my current life - it's easy to get depressed. If no one will encourage me on, at least I can conjure up an imaginary friend (light a match like the matchstick girl) that says with a little voice: "C'mon ZH, it's only a quarter in your life journey. You've GOT to pull up your socks!!"
Embrace your dreams. do not leave room for doubt
Meanwhile, I have got things to do (On my own). I have gotten all too comfortable in my current life - it's easy to get depressed. If no one will encourage me on, at least I can conjure up an imaginary friend (light a match like the matchstick girl) that says with a little voice: "C'mon ZH, it's only a quarter in your life journey. You've GOT to pull up your socks!!"
Embrace your dreams. do not leave room for doubt
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
it's funny, bcos sometimes i hate the text i'm just hammering right down.
I REALLY HATE MY STYLE OF WRITING. A read of past entries, just make me want to puke, vomit-blood, slap my thigh and laugh hysterically.
It's just the BLATANT LACK OF CAPS, and PHOTOS amid the sterile text. The text is lost, and longs to cling for the mother picture. The text is raw material that has no fixed form. It does not crawl to a Stop. It travels nowhere. And it suffers relentless abuse from your eye-gazing, your restless cursor - just stop - hovering - over me right now, or I'll - get angry. . . *there's no point in this entry*
and so it ends
I REALLY HATE MY STYLE OF WRITING. A read of past entries, just make me want to puke, vomit-blood, slap my thigh and laugh hysterically.
It's just the BLATANT LACK OF CAPS, and PHOTOS amid the sterile text. The text is lost, and longs to cling for the mother picture. The text is raw material that has no fixed form. It does not crawl to a Stop. It travels nowhere. And it suffers relentless abuse from your eye-gazing, your restless cursor - just stop - hovering - over me right now, or I'll - get angry. . . *there's no point in this entry*
and so it ends
Thursday, November 20, 2008
TOKYO!
Last evening, I watched TOKYO! a film of 3 shorts, Interior Design by Michel Gondry.
The first film held my attention considerably. It was about a young woman, whom under dire circumstances, gains the ability to turn into a chair. Driving outside in the rain, the female protagonist Hiroko with her director boyfriend are looking for a place to stay in Tokyo. They put up temporarily at her friend's small apartment. A series of pressurising events follow as they look for a place to stay with little success. The boyfriend takes up a gift-wrapping job to pay a parking fine, and meanwhile their car and filming equipment are towed away. After a screening of the film, Hiroko finds herself a liability as 'the girlfriend' as the boyfriend gets his shot at fame.
Merde was a rather eccentric film, showing how an eccentric character can inject mass mayhem onto the streets of Tokyo. This disgustingly foul, bearded man with a milky eye emerged from the sewers, walking in an uncharacteristic gait grabbing anything in his path. He was captured subsequently with draggy court proceedings. The effect on the masses were pro-merde and anti-merde groups that were reminiscent of human rights activists. And a possible sequel? Oh No!
Shaking Tokyo is about the life of a hikikomori and how he decides to go after a pizza end delivery girl one day, only to find out that she's another hikikomori. This strange subculture is explored in detail. I can't believe ppl can lead such sad, antisocial lives. And only in the advent of a disaster, such as an earthquake, be temporarily awakened to reality.
The first film held my attention considerably. It was about a young woman, whom under dire circumstances, gains the ability to turn into a chair. Driving outside in the rain, the female protagonist Hiroko with her director boyfriend are looking for a place to stay in Tokyo. They put up temporarily at her friend's small apartment. A series of pressurising events follow as they look for a place to stay with little success. The boyfriend takes up a gift-wrapping job to pay a parking fine, and meanwhile their car and filming equipment are towed away. After a screening of the film, Hiroko finds herself a liability as 'the girlfriend' as the boyfriend gets his shot at fame.
Merde was a rather eccentric film, showing how an eccentric character can inject mass mayhem onto the streets of Tokyo. This disgustingly foul, bearded man with a milky eye emerged from the sewers, walking in an uncharacteristic gait grabbing anything in his path. He was captured subsequently with draggy court proceedings. The effect on the masses were pro-merde and anti-merde groups that were reminiscent of human rights activists. And a possible sequel? Oh No!
Shaking Tokyo is about the life of a hikikomori and how he decides to go after a pizza end delivery girl one day, only to find out that she's another hikikomori. This strange subculture is explored in detail. I can't believe ppl can lead such sad, antisocial lives. And only in the advent of a disaster, such as an earthquake, be temporarily awakened to reality.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Viva la Vida (or what it actually means)
I am selectively lifting responses to the Coldplay lyric from the website: http://www.metrolyrics.com/viva-la-vida-lyrics-coldplay.html.
ouhhh (061008):
"Viva la vida" doesn't mean "Live your life" only. In fact "Viva la Vida" a Spanish phrase (I know it because I'm Spanish) also means "Go life!" I don't know how to express it correctly, but it is something like "life rocks!" or "C'mon Life", something like you are cheering the life, (using the personification literal expression)
I also think that this song is related to the french revolution basing on the album's cover, a painting in where we can see "Liberty" which is the most famous painting representing "french freedom"
I think that Coldplay is using this french revolution metaphor to express that it doesn't care how powerful you are or you think you are, because everyone has an end and for everyone there is a time where everything changes, and what can seem secure and unchangeable, of course it can turn around.
Like I've reflected before..
ouhhh (061008):
This song not about fear of not going to heaven or being turned down (its too optimistic), nor about any particular king or other ruler who lost his power.
First read the lyrics well, than hear the way he sings and read the title.
This song contains a story told by (kind of) a generalized case of human who believed that he has a power and did something that caused him being hurt and proven that the power was just an illusion. But the moral of the song is that after such a mental catastrophy, one should discover that ruling the world is not really necessary to have a good life and just enjoy the life. This is what the title says. Viva la vida means "live your life", be free and happy.
See what the fourth verse of the refrain starts with:
"And that was when I ruled the world" turns to "But that was when I ruled the world". 'But' is important because it suggests that the speaker no longer thinks the way he did before, he wants to separate himself from who he was before. He discovered that life is great without ruling the world and that is why he is singing so happily.
poliklosio (061008):
If you want to move on and relate the song to an average human's life, this is also a good metaphor of maturing, leaving the adolescense.
Crono (021008):
... this song is not about Napoleon. It's not about any particular factual ruler or king. He didn't "sweep the streets" of his own country, but died in exile on an island. This song is about the fall of a man that used to be on top of the world. It's not a Christian song or religious song by any means, but it is a song of a fallen leader. Napoleon is just one example, and this song could be applied to many throughout history and even some contemporary men that have fallen...
...the Saint Peter reference in the song is from a Catholic belief, not a Christian one (yes, there is a difference). No where in the Bible does it say that Peter is a gatekeeper in heaven. Even if he were to be one, he isn't one now, because he is "asleep" awaiting the resurrection of the righteous, as are all the other men and women who died in Christ.
gray7 (041008):
Never liked Coldplay which is confusingly me slightly as I love this song. Am a bit disturbed by the Christians claiming it though. Suspect the St Peter reference is ironic - he's not going to call any of our names as he doesn't exist - but Cronos is spot on about Napoleon. He might have woken up alone on Elba but he certainly wasn't sweeping the streets - were there any? - and Marie Antoinette ditto who was executed rather than put to some useful public service such as street sweeping. (Sorry, have a history degree. Know this stuff). Being a fellow Brit I suspect Mr Martin like most of us doesn't do God but likes his religious, historical and political references being a bit posh and very well educated. Got to go with the Cronos analysis that it's about someone who was on top and then screwed up. Ideally a short selling hedge fund manager who's now bankrupt. As James put it a decade ago: 'Now I've swung back down again it's worse than it was before. If I hadn't seen such riches I could live with being poor'!
***
It's nice to read how other people feel about songs in general (cryptic lyrics by RH seem to get everyone guessing). Lyrics shouldn't be taken too literally - like those romantic love songs. The way the lyrics are delivered in song breathes meaning into the overall message. Kudos to the reflections contributed by the above. I especially agreed with those points italicised. In my own interpretation (the video included), the song toys with the idea that fame, power, good things in our lives (and that of our lives) are transient - see the physical disintegration of the band members @ the end of the video - and one has to be prepared to be able to face bad times, when the tide turns.
Coldplay lyrics have been more subtle and comprehensible. I won't be surprised if Mrs Martin had a helping hand in the affair.
***
The most in-your-face Anti-Bush, Anti-War video. Politicians frolicking in fun, while the bloodletting is being carried out in the Middle-East. Very misleading though - that politicians lead good lives. Nobody wants to take on the role of the bad guy - but going by the train of rational thought, the war and occupation in Iraq is justifiable to liberate the oppressed people there. You can't just stand by the sidelines and ignore atrocities being carried out by tyrants, terrorist groups. Hence, being evil to eliminate a greater evil is justifiable, for the protection of personal interest and the maturity of mankind. What if celebrities that opposed war were asked to take on the Presidential term? They must know there are flipsides to the choice of peace. Rock bands should tone down their take on international politics, especially if they are not exposed to those kind of diplomatic relations 24/7. It's no easy job of responsibility, so of course letting your hair down is justifiable. This kind of anti-Bush propaganda is both defamatory and misleading, especially to those youth that are not well-read about international politics.. Mr Martin should use his fame responsibly to promote good causes, and not make any personal attacks.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
I had a dream I was in a nightmarish landscape. With black, dark clouds of apocalypse above me, but the sun still shone through in little specks. I could see the rays of the sun, yellow, orange, crimson lines that pierce the matter, the space, until it becomes uncertain, where the ray has travelled to, where the piercing end of the ray has touched. The light has illuminated two figures. Meanwhile, The strings played in the background, an apocalyptic tune on the minor key. change chord, gets higher up by a fifth (or a few tones). It was a picturesque landscape which wasn't original. It was extracted from an anime and the matrix. It was the setting for a major confrontation of two people who were close, but were in trying circumstances, that threaten to upset the balance of the world.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Expectations, Hopes & Fears.
The last word is in the negative sense that I would not dwell upon. ZH does not fear. He is invincible. at least he thinks he is.
Mounting 7d duty is f***ing crazy in every sense. Of course, not to say that we screw up on the job without fail. But the boredom and trepidation that follows with the expectation of 'what-if'. 'What if' something were to happen, that threatens the security of the base I'm guarding. 'What if' there was a bomb threat... 'What if' war broke out in the region. It IS a HEAVY WEIGHT to BEAR on your SHOULDERS. I feel tired as my work days is 7 days per week. I'm going to miss the Singapore Biennale, other activities, and I can't pursue weekend activities (e.g. studies or enrichment activities). I feel like a bird in a cage!
Then our superiors have high expectations of how we carry out our work. Seriously, how would you feel if the company is under-staffed and the hours are long? And on our resting days are organised live firing practices of outdated weapons, and over-strenuous Physical training with unrealistic expectations of your men. The cramming of our schedule on training days, in result, cheats us of our freedom to take leave.
Don't expect me to love thy unit and thy duty. Two words for you. F.. you....
Mounting 7d duty is f***ing crazy in every sense. Of course, not to say that we screw up on the job without fail. But the boredom and trepidation that follows with the expectation of 'what-if'. 'What if' something were to happen, that threatens the security of the base I'm guarding. 'What if' there was a bomb threat... 'What if' war broke out in the region. It IS a HEAVY WEIGHT to BEAR on your SHOULDERS. I feel tired as my work days is 7 days per week. I'm going to miss the Singapore Biennale, other activities, and I can't pursue weekend activities (e.g. studies or enrichment activities). I feel like a bird in a cage!
Then our superiors have high expectations of how we carry out our work. Seriously, how would you feel if the company is under-staffed and the hours are long? And on our resting days are organised live firing practices of outdated weapons, and over-strenuous Physical training with unrealistic expectations of your men. The cramming of our schedule on training days, in result, cheats us of our freedom to take leave.
Don't expect me to love thy unit and thy duty. Two words for you. F.. you....
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Proof ?
Sometimes I feel the army screws up your life big time. Especially in a 7d in-camp, then 4d training workday (8 to 5) system. It is seriously screwed up. My acapella group is in dissolution now. sigh. well, YT, never expected you to give me false hope.
While my mood is in a down, knowing that we might never meet again, it's hard to think positively... let me grieve pls...
hahahaha..... and n ow you see me smiling.
I know it's not the end. I tell myself it's not the end. It's just a phase. I know it ain't practical to schedule myself for this acapella thing too. It's too heavy on me. I know it's heavy for you guys too. So I'm not blaming anyone. Such is our fate. Would it be that we were best friends from the same choir, sharing the same dream in making music, popularising themes, and providing entertainment, and artistic insight to the masses. However, currently, my DREAM IS BUT A DROP OF FUEL FOR MY NIGHTMARE.
AND INSANITY TAKES FLIGHT!! =(
I KNOW..
I KNOW
I KNOW what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna run away from it all.
Running away from your troubles is the classic way. Each of us has to run down the mountain to meet our maker, like how we climbed up the mountain with our maker's blessings. (NOTICE I REFER TO GOD AS OUR MAKER)
I'm always thinking about GOD, the big question, because I want to know why I am here. AND I'M CERTAIN MY MAKER WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN THE CREATION OF LIFE (AND THE ARROGANT HUMAN RACE) - MOST OF US, GREW TOO PROUD FOR OURSELVES TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE ROOTS OF OUR HUMBLE ORIGINS. TO REFUTE THE EXISTENCE OF A MAKER WOULD BE FOOLISH, because an infinite existence of God (and the guises of other deities/immortals) are imperceptible to us living in the finite dimension. TO REFUTE THE EXISTENCE OF MIRACLES IS FOOLISH, FOR THERE IS MUCH WE DO NOT KNOW.
YET - YET - ONE IS INEVITABLY TRAPPED IN THE STRUGGLE OF FORCES THAT LEAD HUMANS ASTRAY FROM THE TRUTH, THEY SAY "SATAN" TRAPS MAN IN EVIL WAYS, AND GOD IS HOLINESS - GOODNESS, SHOWING THE TRUTH OF THE WORLD AND LIFESTYLE THAT MAN SHOULD LEAD.
Who can be sure? but there is definitely a God.. Don't expect me to believe atoms, the electrons, neutrons, and charges came from nowhere, from emptiness. Not wondrous ways, and not a miracle of God.
While my mood is in a down, knowing that we might never meet again, it's hard to think positively... let me grieve pls...
hahahaha..... and n ow you see me smiling.
I know it's not the end. I tell myself it's not the end. It's just a phase. I know it ain't practical to schedule myself for this acapella thing too. It's too heavy on me. I know it's heavy for you guys too. So I'm not blaming anyone. Such is our fate. Would it be that we were best friends from the same choir, sharing the same dream in making music, popularising themes, and providing entertainment, and artistic insight to the masses. However, currently, my DREAM IS BUT A DROP OF FUEL FOR MY NIGHTMARE.
AND INSANITY TAKES FLIGHT!! =(
I KNOW..
I KNOW
I KNOW what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna run away from it all.
Running away from your troubles is the classic way. Each of us has to run down the mountain to meet our maker, like how we climbed up the mountain with our maker's blessings. (NOTICE I REFER TO GOD AS OUR MAKER)
I'm always thinking about GOD, the big question, because I want to know why I am here. AND I'M CERTAIN MY MAKER WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN THE CREATION OF LIFE (AND THE ARROGANT HUMAN RACE) - MOST OF US, GREW TOO PROUD FOR OURSELVES TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE ROOTS OF OUR HUMBLE ORIGINS. TO REFUTE THE EXISTENCE OF A MAKER WOULD BE FOOLISH, because an infinite existence of God (and the guises of other deities/immortals) are imperceptible to us living in the finite dimension. TO REFUTE THE EXISTENCE OF MIRACLES IS FOOLISH, FOR THERE IS MUCH WE DO NOT KNOW.
YET - YET - ONE IS INEVITABLY TRAPPED IN THE STRUGGLE OF FORCES THAT LEAD HUMANS ASTRAY FROM THE TRUTH, THEY SAY "SATAN" TRAPS MAN IN EVIL WAYS, AND GOD IS HOLINESS - GOODNESS, SHOWING THE TRUTH OF THE WORLD AND LIFESTYLE THAT MAN SHOULD LEAD.
Who can be sure? but there is definitely a God.. Don't expect me to believe atoms, the electrons, neutrons, and charges came from nowhere, from emptiness. Not wondrous ways, and not a miracle of God.
Songs and Feelings
Reflecting on my current feelings, I feel my life ought to be documented into a novel. It may be a life like any other, filled with boring periods of individual reflection and studies. Yet there are fleeting, enjoyable moments of social activity that just leave me craving with an empty stomach when they're gone. I think I can identify myself in a mood-swing. One minute, I'm listening to the negative melodic metal band, the next, some dance track...... No. This could be a result of my reflex positive correction. In fact, I corrected myself positively, instead of letting my mind linger on the negative thoughts and songs.
Eureka! I realise I can change the way I think! Probably by simply choosing to be positive and stop dwelling on negative thoughts. I can be content with what I have, and stop thinking about that which is not mine. And you can play with your own mind, if you know what perks you up. Sometimes you just need to F***ING HELL WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!! =)
My dream's but a drop of fuel for a nightmare
The walls of night have left me scarred
the broken glass I stepped on, twice.
the ardent spirits' rusty edge, decapitate me...
Believe the dreams that let you sleep
the broken glass you need to sweep
The book you read; if you found an explanation
to help you in any way,
you are your own prison.
When I listen to metal, I often impose my personal anguish into it, typical of the song style. I use it as a medium to convey my emotions, otherwise repressed. I'm not saying it's a good thing. There's a limit to how far you should express them.
And now I'm listening to MISIA... in her eighth world album. feels like 7th heaven to me.
Eureka! I realise I can change the way I think! Probably by simply choosing to be positive and stop dwelling on negative thoughts. I can be content with what I have, and stop thinking about that which is not mine. And you can play with your own mind, if you know what perks you up. Sometimes you just need to F***ING HELL WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!! =)
My dream's but a drop of fuel for a nightmare
The walls of night have left me scarred
the broken glass I stepped on, twice.
the ardent spirits' rusty edge, decapitate me...
Believe the dreams that let you sleep
the broken glass you need to sweep
The book you read; if you found an explanation
to help you in any way,
you are your own prison.
When I listen to metal, I often impose my personal anguish into it, typical of the song style. I use it as a medium to convey my emotions, otherwise repressed. I'm not saying it's a good thing. There's a limit to how far you should express them.
And now I'm listening to MISIA... in her eighth world album. feels like 7th heaven to me.
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