concerned with the survival of their own species, nothing more. No more noble than others!
- THAT is one of my core beliefs. We exhaust our energies grappling with a myraid of lofty ideas. Running around in circles. Chasing our tails. We may find solutions; another planet to inhabit; or another reality; to aid us in our evolutionary journey, but we'll never run away from the reality of being a Human, and our innate biological needs. Every moment, your soul is screaming 'FEED ME', "Is that all you've got?" "Hell yeah." Recognise these primal instincts. I know them like my best pal.
So stop giving yourself excuses that Humans are more noble than all the other creatures. So condemn domestic abuse, animal abuse, and meat factories. The only thing we are blessed with, is a finite wisdom, a surety of knowledge that has prospered over the generations. Hurt begets hurt. So let be, let's lift our heads up high and hunt for the meaning of our lives (abstractly speaking).
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Project Narrative
(Edited 19/2/11)
I miss the narratives we used to write in class in my secondary school days. I had the inkling that the passage of time will rid me of many unpleasant things I want to forget via loss of memory, only to be replaced by the fond memorable ones which will grow more vivid.
I wonder what stifled my creativity these days, in my endless pursuit of doing things right and speeding up the way I work. "Wielder of the needle," I call myself.
"The needle speaks the truth, it is unbiased, except when it trades hands..." That's the mantra which I chant in my head, when the fearful patient looks nervously at me as he/she seats down in the chair of fate.
I have suffered numerous defeats and humiliations when my patient groans in pain as I withdrew a needle in failure. I swear most of whatever happens has to do with my own personal skill.
There are several more things I want to write about but I never had the time to expand on these ideas. Perhaps it was the way I organised things.
Note: The stories below are fictitious, incomplete fragments of thoughts for writing practice only. Any resemblance to real-life persons is purely coincidential.
So, in the style of Murakami...
---
#1. GPMG Grilling
I miss my day of shame, as I sat down behind the GPMG as a trainee. The Sergeant grilled me verbally, relentlessly. Faced with the mounting stress and not knowing what to do, tears rolled down my cheeks out of their own volition. But I did not cry or sniffle. This was entirely a stress response. I had to overcome this in front of a peer setting. No tearing. I swear, no tearing.
Rewind back a few months to BMT, I had my day of pride, as I was the fastest runner during one of the training 2.4 km runs. Even my OC gave me a pat on the back. But what's a good runner to do if he can't keep his cool?
***
Interlude
While my thoughts began to meander endlessly back-and-forth, the cogs and wheels began to turn and churn out my amazing thoughts, like a wondrous factory. These excursions of the mind, as I sit down, desk and chair, my primary vehicle to carry me, cruising excessively, a curious child again, through the recesses of my mind.
***
#2. I miss those polytechnic days, where I was glued to the idea that "the one who works himself hardest, shall reap the greatest returns". I miss studying on the bus, buried in my notes, and bored by all that text. I tried to appear uninterested in the attractive girls that walked by down the aisles, and dismiss you as a 'loser' with a little less than a parting glance.
***
#3. Standing Guard, Night-shift
The night was dry outside, and he stood guard at the guardpost as usual, waiting for things to happen. It was 2.30 AM in the morning. The outgoing shift was a dog-tired face, a glowing shade of pale and much-relieved at the sight of his comrade. He checks the battery-life indicator on his walkie-talkie and hands it to me, along with the communal loaded magazine of 5.56 rounds that we might have to use, in the event of any unlikely threat to the base.
"See ya at 8 AM tomorrow"
Without another word, he turns right and heads for the general direction of the guardhouse, where we bunk-in after duty, to restore our rifles back onto the rifle rack. Turning the lock in, we turn around to find our beds laid out like tongues in the seductive darkness. Meanwhile, mother slumber beckons her will enticely. Where we seek her to grant us a good night's rest, before the earth spins faster and throws our slumber plans into disarray, by the noisy racketing of rifles when the morning comes.
I remembered this morning. Or should I say this afternoon, I was swimming in the pool of the sports complex. And so was my head now, swimming. It was a good choice in retrospect. But I'm feeling groggy now. Due to waking up at this kind of unholy hour. I don't feel at all like talking. What should I do? Close my eyes. I rest my hands on my rifle. Sure there's a bud, a partner that can talk to, on this damn shift. Damn. But I'm too tired to express grumpiness.
Yin Zong. This fella was always having the girlfriend issues. He was talking on the phone. Said goodbye, and now sms-ing. What a lousy phone, I thought. It was so old and outdated. Yet it didn't have a camera, like mine did. I let out a faint chuckle within a little corner of my mind. And I thought, hell I must be crazy.
"Hey Jeremy, do you think you're weird?"
"Everyone thinks everyone is weird because they haven't been through what they have been.." I said
"Jeremy, just answer this question - yes or no - do you think you're weird?"
With an infinite patience that seems to grow every minute, I cocked my head sideways to face him.
"No. Why the heck would I think I am weird?"
A long silence ensues. So I look away, and glanced at my rifle. I glanced up and adjusted my jockey cap. What the hell, you're no better yourself... I thought. Yin Zong resumed the reassuring tapping away at his phone, an important message to his girlfriend, or maybe someone else he can find at this hour, I thought. At least he's predictable, unlike the restless wandering in my cranium.
I felt the dampness of the land breeze pass through my nostrils. I listened to my heartbeat thumping steadily in my chest, as I sat hunched on the cold, cheap stool. I switched on the radio on my handphone to help me stay awake and interested in the scenery before me. A long straight road for 200m, then my eyes met a small yellow light that blinked at short intervals. The first line of defense for the base, which reported anything suspicious coming by our way. The light blinked like a floating star above the ground. And So did the light on the walkie talkie.
"Yin Zong.."
"What..."
"Nothing..."
So we entertained ourselves as time passed. I kept a conscious watch for as long as I could, until my eyelids closed upon themselves. The chilly night stole away my consciousness. Time passed. When I returned back to reality, my eyes were open again. So I thought, Holy shit. I just had a waking dream.
***
As the waves tossed below the tower, I lay awake, wondering of the girl that I went out with at the movie. Sure, she's three years older than me, but at least she's takes a genuine interest in my personal well-being (a little later, she got uninterested upon discovering my limits and divergent interests).
***
I've always had the same dream of the scene where Bilbo Baggins chances upon Gollum's precious ring. The two of us buddies out on foot patrol, that one day we might stumble on something seriously bad. But Frodo and Sam always looked out for each other. This characterised my feelings during those NS days.
I miss the narratives we used to write in class in my secondary school days. I had the inkling that the passage of time will rid me of many unpleasant things I want to forget via loss of memory, only to be replaced by the fond memorable ones which will grow more vivid.
I wonder what stifled my creativity these days, in my endless pursuit of doing things right and speeding up the way I work. "Wielder of the needle," I call myself.
"The needle speaks the truth, it is unbiased, except when it trades hands..." That's the mantra which I chant in my head, when the fearful patient looks nervously at me as he/she seats down in the chair of fate.
I have suffered numerous defeats and humiliations when my patient groans in pain as I withdrew a needle in failure. I swear most of whatever happens has to do with my own personal skill.
There are several more things I want to write about but I never had the time to expand on these ideas. Perhaps it was the way I organised things.
Note: The stories below are fictitious, incomplete fragments of thoughts for writing practice only. Any resemblance to real-life persons is purely coincidential.
So, in the style of Murakami...
---
#1. GPMG Grilling
I miss my day of shame, as I sat down behind the GPMG as a trainee. The Sergeant grilled me verbally, relentlessly. Faced with the mounting stress and not knowing what to do, tears rolled down my cheeks out of their own volition. But I did not cry or sniffle. This was entirely a stress response. I had to overcome this in front of a peer setting. No tearing. I swear, no tearing.
Rewind back a few months to BMT, I had my day of pride, as I was the fastest runner during one of the training 2.4 km runs. Even my OC gave me a pat on the back. But what's a good runner to do if he can't keep his cool?
***
Interlude
While my thoughts began to meander endlessly back-and-forth, the cogs and wheels began to turn and churn out my amazing thoughts, like a wondrous factory. These excursions of the mind, as I sit down, desk and chair, my primary vehicle to carry me, cruising excessively, a curious child again, through the recesses of my mind.
***
#2. I miss those polytechnic days, where I was glued to the idea that "the one who works himself hardest, shall reap the greatest returns". I miss studying on the bus, buried in my notes, and bored by all that text. I tried to appear uninterested in the attractive girls that walked by down the aisles, and dismiss you as a 'loser' with a little less than a parting glance.
***
#3. Standing Guard, Night-shift
The night was dry outside, and he stood guard at the guardpost as usual, waiting for things to happen. It was 2.30 AM in the morning. The outgoing shift was a dog-tired face, a glowing shade of pale and much-relieved at the sight of his comrade. He checks the battery-life indicator on his walkie-talkie and hands it to me, along with the communal loaded magazine of 5.56 rounds that we might have to use, in the event of any unlikely threat to the base.
"See ya at 8 AM tomorrow"
Without another word, he turns right and heads for the general direction of the guardhouse, where we bunk-in after duty, to restore our rifles back onto the rifle rack. Turning the lock in, we turn around to find our beds laid out like tongues in the seductive darkness. Meanwhile, mother slumber beckons her will enticely. Where we seek her to grant us a good night's rest, before the earth spins faster and throws our slumber plans into disarray, by the noisy racketing of rifles when the morning comes.
I remembered this morning. Or should I say this afternoon, I was swimming in the pool of the sports complex. And so was my head now, swimming. It was a good choice in retrospect. But I'm feeling groggy now. Due to waking up at this kind of unholy hour. I don't feel at all like talking. What should I do? Close my eyes. I rest my hands on my rifle. Sure there's a bud, a partner that can talk to, on this damn shift. Damn. But I'm too tired to express grumpiness.
Yin Zong. This fella was always having the girlfriend issues. He was talking on the phone. Said goodbye, and now sms-ing. What a lousy phone, I thought. It was so old and outdated. Yet it didn't have a camera, like mine did. I let out a faint chuckle within a little corner of my mind. And I thought, hell I must be crazy.
"Hey Jeremy, do you think you're weird?"
"Everyone thinks everyone is weird because they haven't been through what they have been.." I said
"Jeremy, just answer this question - yes or no - do you think you're weird?"
With an infinite patience that seems to grow every minute, I cocked my head sideways to face him.
"No. Why the heck would I think I am weird?"
A long silence ensues. So I look away, and glanced at my rifle. I glanced up and adjusted my jockey cap. What the hell, you're no better yourself... I thought. Yin Zong resumed the reassuring tapping away at his phone, an important message to his girlfriend, or maybe someone else he can find at this hour, I thought. At least he's predictable, unlike the restless wandering in my cranium.
I felt the dampness of the land breeze pass through my nostrils. I listened to my heartbeat thumping steadily in my chest, as I sat hunched on the cold, cheap stool. I switched on the radio on my handphone to help me stay awake and interested in the scenery before me. A long straight road for 200m, then my eyes met a small yellow light that blinked at short intervals. The first line of defense for the base, which reported anything suspicious coming by our way. The light blinked like a floating star above the ground. And So did the light on the walkie talkie.
"Yin Zong.."
"What..."
"Nothing..."
So we entertained ourselves as time passed. I kept a conscious watch for as long as I could, until my eyelids closed upon themselves. The chilly night stole away my consciousness. Time passed. When I returned back to reality, my eyes were open again. So I thought, Holy shit. I just had a waking dream.
***
As the waves tossed below the tower, I lay awake, wondering of the girl that I went out with at the movie. Sure, she's three years older than me, but at least she's takes a genuine interest in my personal well-being (a little later, she got uninterested upon discovering my limits and divergent interests).
***
I've always had the same dream of the scene where Bilbo Baggins chances upon Gollum's precious ring. The two of us buddies out on foot patrol, that one day we might stumble on something seriously bad. But Frodo and Sam always looked out for each other. This characterised my feelings during those NS days.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry X'mas
Not much of a Christmas Cheer this year, but I am satisfied and content thus far.
With HINDSIGHT... I looked through my hotmail inbox (Filled with 168 messages). I have been sending out resumes and applying for jobs with progressive desperation since June 11 2009. I even sent out to my Major Project Supervisor in 2007, Dr Lipovich - he was relocated, back in his country, teaching at some Medical University. Poor me. All the 4 pages filled up with emails sent out to job agencies, adverts, postings... At least 33 emails per page. Work out your math and I have sent out around 123 Emails specifically looking for jobs that could make me earn my keep.
I got lucky. After the barrage of emails, 10 o' clock, September 11 2009, in a HR office at Jalan Bukit Merah, I signed a 2-year contract with SINGHEALTH, to start work for them commencing September 18.. I am thankful that I got here, where I am now. Smelling Blood and Urine... Microscopy, Operating sophisticated machines, meeting all kinds of people, getting philosophical insights about the nature of life, appreciating people, and learning how to work with people of different personalities.
Look at me now, I am happy and generally content with my work.
But my human heart feels lonely - this biological machine feels as if it's missing something - a companion - oil to lubricate the smooth running of the machine everyday. Someone to look forward to meet after work, to share life's joys and sorrows. To appreciate life together in a mutually inclusive state.
I am longing to find that someone. She's got to exist. but for now it's back to work.
With HINDSIGHT... I looked through my hotmail inbox (Filled with 168 messages). I have been sending out resumes and applying for jobs with progressive desperation since June 11 2009. I even sent out to my Major Project Supervisor in 2007, Dr Lipovich - he was relocated, back in his country, teaching at some Medical University. Poor me. All the 4 pages filled up with emails sent out to job agencies, adverts, postings... At least 33 emails per page. Work out your math and I have sent out around 123 Emails specifically looking for jobs that could make me earn my keep.
I got lucky. After the barrage of emails, 10 o' clock, September 11 2009, in a HR office at Jalan Bukit Merah, I signed a 2-year contract with SINGHEALTH, to start work for them commencing September 18.. I am thankful that I got here, where I am now. Smelling Blood and Urine... Microscopy, Operating sophisticated machines, meeting all kinds of people, getting philosophical insights about the nature of life, appreciating people, and learning how to work with people of different personalities.
Look at me now, I am happy and generally content with my work.
But my human heart feels lonely - this biological machine feels as if it's missing something - a companion - oil to lubricate the smooth running of the machine everyday. Someone to look forward to meet after work, to share life's joys and sorrows. To appreciate life together in a mutually inclusive state.
I am longing to find that someone. She's got to exist. but for now it's back to work.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Jonathan
(Updated 15 Oct. Original post dated 23 Jul.)
I've always been impressed by a friend called Jonathan. Jonathan was a choir-mate in secondary school, then he became class-rep for my days in Millenia Institute. Now he's earned a University degree via overseas studies in America. Those days were fleetingly swell. If I were ever to get a respectable English name, it would be Jonathan - for it represents someone who is morally upright, reliable, takes action, and remains loyal to his friends.
* * * HISTORY '09 THUS FAR (POST-NS) * * *
Taiwan trip with CDS Batch 14 platoon-mates (Jun 19 - 25).
Job-hunt anxiety and a few interviews ensued. Life crisis emerges - to pursue which degree - Sports Science or Biomedical Science?
Jonathan was conned by TRUST TUITION AGENCY (TRUST TUITION CENTER) into becoming a Tuition Coordinator (ie. someone that prints his own flyers, gives out to parents waiting outside primary school. Lesson Learnt: (1) Ignore Work-from-Home ads in Classifieds Part-time/ Temporary section. (2) Doing business requires a clear head, and properly done calculations. (3) I do not hold Joshua Koh Fu Beng and Ms Koh in high regard. - ~$220 for 3 months of a poorly maintained Tutor database. They have done me a great disservice.
Chronic pain, tightness in right ankle (post-sprains) made me have 2nd thoughts about sports science.
Jonathan thoroughly enjoyed his 2-day stint as a distributor for the Events Artery, giving out promotional tissues opp. Capitol Mall, Raffles place, to promote the WATSONS CARD. Fond memories, esp of the supervisor, Joselyn who tailed me with the camera... + $60
Jonathan was in CPF Board. From August 17 - Sept 11. Did data entry work with Ching Hau, Ivan, Joyce, Remy, most of the time. Got to know Glenn, m1, m2, m3,.. and Perm-staff Adeline, Yoke Lan, Yoke Chai, Hafiz, Noor Aza, Alan, Patricia... and understood some of the mechanics of office-life. Always joked that I would climb the 37+ storeys of the CPF building to train for Vertical marathon, but didn't have the guts to try. I loved the CPF Building Food on the 34th floor.
One day, I planned a run home after work. I changed to a running singlet and shorts in the toilet, did my stretching on the 30th floor, took the lift down, my attire surprised several office ladies. Stopped after I met an old man who entered the lift, he made some small talk about my running. I replied politely, and remarked I have hardly time to exercise. He exited the lift at a lower level. To my amusement, an office-lady in the lift told me he is a CEO of CPF Board. I said oh, i didn't know... After all, I am just a temp staff there and I couldn't look for a raise or promotion, hahaha.
Received calls from Chinese ppl trying to con me of my money.. Entertained them at first, and was tempted to believe. Fortunately, I got a job offer and decided to ignore them.
* * * 18 Sep 2009 : SGH : Patients at the heart of all we do * * *
Resume: Blood collection, ECG, (more to come?)...
Blood collection IS a richly rewarding challenge. I will never be able to look at a Human arm the same way again.
Serving elderly patients remind me that each day, life is a journey to be cherished. Old men I serve remain humble towards this young inexperienced lad, despite their heyday accomplishments. Today I serve them, and who knows, a young lad (yet unborn still) will serve me and my generation in the future, perhaps using more sophisticated medical equipment then the one i'm using. Maybe I will talk to the young lad, about how I used to do ECG for post-war (The Great War) baby boomers in my 20s. When that day comes, my skin may be shrivelled, rough, and stretchy, with blotchy patches. We all get old.
Reminds me of a moral that a man (anyone born human) was never meant to survive his/her whole life alone, but he/she needs help from his brothers and sisters from time to time. Thus he should be there to help others for the sake of passing on this sacred ritual to ensure our species survival. He feels good inside, that he has done good for a fellow. And who knows, the positive experience noted by the fellow will be related to to his primary contacts, and what goes around, may come around.
I am humbled by the strength in character of some of my colleagues. Namely, their honesty, selflessness, and team-spirit. I am grateful to them for sharing some of their experiences.
my dream job.
I've always been impressed by a friend called Jonathan. Jonathan was a choir-mate in secondary school, then he became class-rep for my days in Millenia Institute. Now he's earned a University degree via overseas studies in America. Those days were fleetingly swell. If I were ever to get a respectable English name, it would be Jonathan - for it represents someone who is morally upright, reliable, takes action, and remains loyal to his friends.
* * * HISTORY '09 THUS FAR (POST-NS) * * *
Taiwan trip with CDS Batch 14 platoon-mates (Jun 19 - 25).
Job-hunt anxiety and a few interviews ensued. Life crisis emerges - to pursue which degree - Sports Science or Biomedical Science?
Jonathan was conned by TRUST TUITION AGENCY (TRUST TUITION CENTER) into becoming a Tuition Coordinator (ie. someone that prints his own flyers, gives out to parents waiting outside primary school. Lesson Learnt: (1) Ignore Work-from-Home ads in Classifieds Part-time/ Temporary section. (2) Doing business requires a clear head, and properly done calculations. (3) I do not hold Joshua Koh Fu Beng and Ms Koh in high regard. - ~$220 for 3 months of a poorly maintained Tutor database. They have done me a great disservice.
Chronic pain, tightness in right ankle (post-sprains) made me have 2nd thoughts about sports science.
Jonathan thoroughly enjoyed his 2-day stint as a distributor for the Events Artery, giving out promotional tissues opp. Capitol Mall, Raffles place, to promote the WATSONS CARD. Fond memories, esp of the supervisor, Joselyn who tailed me with the camera... + $60
Jonathan was in CPF Board. From August 17 - Sept 11. Did data entry work with Ching Hau, Ivan, Joyce, Remy, most of the time. Got to know Glenn, m1, m2, m3,.. and Perm-staff Adeline, Yoke Lan, Yoke Chai, Hafiz, Noor Aza, Alan, Patricia... and understood some of the mechanics of office-life. Always joked that I would climb the 37+ storeys of the CPF building to train for Vertical marathon, but didn't have the guts to try. I loved the CPF Building Food on the 34th floor.
One day, I planned a run home after work. I changed to a running singlet and shorts in the toilet, did my stretching on the 30th floor, took the lift down, my attire surprised several office ladies. Stopped after I met an old man who entered the lift, he made some small talk about my running. I replied politely, and remarked I have hardly time to exercise. He exited the lift at a lower level. To my amusement, an office-lady in the lift told me he is a CEO of CPF Board. I said oh, i didn't know... After all, I am just a temp staff there and I couldn't look for a raise or promotion, hahaha.
Received calls from Chinese ppl trying to con me of my money.. Entertained them at first, and was tempted to believe. Fortunately, I got a job offer and decided to ignore them.
* * * 18 Sep 2009 : SGH : Patients at the heart of all we do * * *
Resume: Blood collection, ECG, (more to come?)...
Blood collection IS a richly rewarding challenge. I will never be able to look at a Human arm the same way again.
Serving elderly patients remind me that each day, life is a journey to be cherished. Old men I serve remain humble towards this young inexperienced lad, despite their heyday accomplishments. Today I serve them, and who knows, a young lad (yet unborn still) will serve me and my generation in the future, perhaps using more sophisticated medical equipment then the one i'm using. Maybe I will talk to the young lad, about how I used to do ECG for post-war (The Great War) baby boomers in my 20s. When that day comes, my skin may be shrivelled, rough, and stretchy, with blotchy patches. We all get old.
Reminds me of a moral that a man (anyone born human) was never meant to survive his/her whole life alone, but he/she needs help from his brothers and sisters from time to time. Thus he should be there to help others for the sake of passing on this sacred ritual to ensure our species survival. He feels good inside, that he has done good for a fellow. And who knows, the positive experience noted by the fellow will be related to to his primary contacts, and what goes around, may come around.
I am humbled by the strength in character of some of my colleagues. Namely, their honesty, selflessness, and team-spirit. I am grateful to them for sharing some of their experiences.
my dream job.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Taking stock 120709
Disorder #1
Unnecessary Burdens - "Today's headlines takes precedence over yesterday's." This is the ideal world everyone wants to live in. For many times, I want to tell myself Today is a brand new day, but a lot of horrible stuff from yesterday just spills over today. It's a little annoying that I can't (1) just loosen up and let go of my burdens. (*) I hate the rigidity of my ideas. I have developed a complex relationship with material stuff. Yesterday's news in my closet, a storehouse for ideas I don't want to lose. But it can be a little stifling as it takes up space...
Disorder #2
Negativity - if it's not chemical, it's psychological. Got to get those neurons firing properly. Positive signals ONLY. If I hear a harmful thought - I'm gonna kill it. Denounce it, dethrone it, squash it like a pest.
Disorder #3
Anger - I must be at peace with myself and disallow my emotions to take control. The logical person reigns.
* * *
I have been pondering incessantly about my destiny, but it has not grown obsessive. I've been letting it go - be it the leisurely cycle, the personal 2.4 time trial, the resume-editing, and the thoughts over a job advert.
Well, I've applied for some jobs thus far. And I really gonna get one to prove to myself that I can. (Hmm. Maybe I should just tell myself I can.) Then I should make time for other things I want to do. No wait. There's the income factor. I can't ask for sponsorship for Kayaking course, Martial arts course, etc.. I need to stop by the "Time for $$$ Trap" for some quick bucks.. Cash. I need the cash.
And I really need to make time to read my books, and learn some skills.
Unnecessary Burdens - "Today's headlines takes precedence over yesterday's." This is the ideal world everyone wants to live in. For many times, I want to tell myself Today is a brand new day, but a lot of horrible stuff from yesterday just spills over today. It's a little annoying that I can't (1) just loosen up and let go of my burdens. (*) I hate the rigidity of my ideas. I have developed a complex relationship with material stuff. Yesterday's news in my closet, a storehouse for ideas I don't want to lose. But it can be a little stifling as it takes up space...
Disorder #2
Negativity - if it's not chemical, it's psychological. Got to get those neurons firing properly. Positive signals ONLY. If I hear a harmful thought - I'm gonna kill it. Denounce it, dethrone it, squash it like a pest.
Disorder #3
Anger - I must be at peace with myself and disallow my emotions to take control. The logical person reigns.
* * *
I have been pondering incessantly about my destiny, but it has not grown obsessive. I've been letting it go - be it the leisurely cycle, the personal 2.4 time trial, the resume-editing, and the thoughts over a job advert.
Well, I've applied for some jobs thus far. And I really gonna get one to prove to myself that I can. (Hmm. Maybe I should just tell myself I can.) Then I should make time for other things I want to do. No wait. There's the income factor. I can't ask for sponsorship for Kayaking course, Martial arts course, etc.. I need to stop by the "Time for $$$ Trap" for some quick bucks.. Cash. I need the cash.
And I really need to make time to read my books, and learn some skills.
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